God spoke: “Light!” And light appeared. God saw that light was good and separated light from dark. God named the light Day, he named the dark Night. It was evening, it was morning— Day One

Genesis 1:3-5 (The Message)

“Light breaks the power of darkness…”

Rev. Michael Slaughter

Recently I had the occasion to talk with a client who was experiencing increased anxiety and some mild depression. As we have discussed, I believe in the equation: anxiety + time = depression. Especially in this period of COVID depression, coupled with decreased light hours due to seasonal change, we have an unfortunate confluence of negative factors which can increase the level of emotional distress. Even the remedies we typically suggest, like increased contact with peers, volunteering, and exercise, may have been significantly curtailed by the pandemic.  

This particular client also had the misfortune of having a room with no windows. I suggested to him that one little thing he could do (and I typically suggest a series of “little things”) was to get some plants for his room. He was also to get some full spectrum lights (grow lights) which would help the plants thrive. The added benefit was that the lights could help him stave off the possible affects of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

The value of plants should not be underestimated. They give us something to nurture, however simple it may be. We get a sense of accomplishment when we can help sustain life, however insignificant it may seem, like a plant. Further, plants are living things. There is a symbolism, however subtle, in being surrounded by living things.

I have often spoken of the value of gardening and farming. Gardeners fully understand and appreciate the vagaries of weather, and the symbiotic relationship we have with nature and growing things. They, more than most people, understand dependence on things they cannot control, and acceptance of this precarious yet beautiful balance.

So, if you are feeling like you need something to perk you up in the coming winter, think about caring for some plants.

 It is good for the soul.   

Prayer: Father, thank you for the life around us, even the humble houseplants can bring joy and health, Amen

“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” Maya Angelou

Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful; Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you’re worth. God looks on all this with approval, listening and responding well to what he’s asked…                                                                                              I Peter 3:9-10 (The Message)

So today, let’s just have fun! I’m thinking about going back to favorite things that soothed us when we were kids. It is essential that we find ways to soothe ourselves when we experience stress. We learn this very early in life, and it is important that we learn to “self-soothe” as opposed to relying upon others give us that sense of peace and stress relief. Stress is ubiquitous, so it is important to learn the skill of finding a place, or an action, which gives us a sense of peace and security.

I was the youngest of four children, and I was the youngest by 6 years. Yes, I was the surprise at the end of the train for my parents- my dad was over forty, and my mom 39 years old when I was born. So, I had a lot of time alone as my older siblings had friends, and school and activities to occupy them while I was very young.  

I found that TV became a place of entertainment and companionship. Shows like “Uncle Al”, and cartoon shows like The Bugs Bunny Hour, The Flintstones, and family shows like Andy Griffith and the Beverly Hillbillies became sources of soothing for me. Later, thankfully, I found reading to be a great friend to me, and it still sustains me as a warm, soothing companion.

I find it interesting that some of the shows I loved as a kid have found an enduring place in the culture. Shows like Andy Griffith, Gilligan’s Island, The Flintstones, The Twilight Zone (and I could go on forever) are cultural icons which even young members of today’s society typically recognize readily.

My question to you is, what is it from the past that gives you that familiar soothing feeling? Think about that, and maybe share it with your kids (or grandkids). Maybe they will have a great laugh at your expense!

Prayer: Father, thank you for those little things that give us peace and joy, Amen.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.                                                                                                                                    Psalm 121:1-2

This was the verse of the day yesterday from my Bible app, and I thought that it was pretty timely. In these days (in my hemisphere) the daylight is getting much shorter, the weather is growing colder, and the scenes outside my window are drearier. COVID-19 is rampaging across the country, indeed, the entire world, and the political landscape is, let us say, “not helpful”. So, if one is simply looking around, there may not be a lot of encouragement.

However, if one looks up, there is actually real encouragement. Our outlook depends on our “uplook”. We typically will find what we expect, attitude wise. If we expect to find misery, we will certainly be able to find it. However, if we want to find encouragement, that takes a bit more work sometimes. Looking for the uplifting things is not often our “default” mode, especially when we are inundated with bad news.So, we need to be intentional in looking for positive things.

The Psalm writer here relates his experience with finding the positive, encouraging things. He lifts up his eyes to the mountains. He knows that if he keeps his head straight on, he will see what he always sees- pain and misery. But, if he takes the time and energy to lift up his eyes, he can see again that his help comes from the maker of those mountains he is looking at.

I sometimes tell my clients that they need to spend more time looking through the windshield than at the rearview mirror. Yes, we must, for safety reasons periodically look through that rearview mirror. However, most of our time, we need to concentrate on the road ahead of us.

Similarly, we need to be looking up to the mountains when things are looking grim straight ahead. It encourages us, and reminds us that our help is from the Maker of heaven and earth.

Prayer: Yes, Lord, you are the place where our help comes from. Give us reminders as we look for them for encouragement, Amen.

 ^“I thank my God every time I remember you”.                                                                                                        Philippians 1:3

Yesterday I talked about the effects of stress, specifically the burden that it places on our endocrine system, which responds with hormonal responses to the flight, fright or freeze process. We know that acute stress causes spikes in these hormonal responses with release of cortisol and adrenaline. Over a period of time, such reactions can cause some long-term physical and emotional problems.

Especially problematic is the presence of long-term, chronic stress, where the body gets fatigued with the repeated release of these chemicals which prepare us for acute responses. If the stress is prolonged, we can have some long-term physical problems. Unfortunately, many people in many professions are expected to always be vigilant, always in response mode. This leads to physical and emotional burn-out.

We get used to stress, and it becomes like normal. But it is not normal. We pay a price for such long-term stress. Indeed, human resilience can become adapted to incredible stresses. Physicians and emergency personnel who are “on call” become inured to vigilance as a way of life. Soldiers and police officers become accustomed to danger as a part of everyday life, and they sometimes do not even acknowledge the presence of constant fear. “It’s what we do”, they say.

Yes, it is what they do, and I thank them for it. I don’t know how long such persistence is possible. Clearly, like the law of economics, whatever we put off comes due with interest. We pay a high price (like interest charges) at a future time for the current stress we undergo.

We recognize that stress is an unavoidable part of life, but some have more chronic stress than others. Undo, unnatural stress over time comes with a cost. Validation of such sacrifice is important to society in order to support and encourage those who sacrifice for our safety and security every day.

So, for those who serve us in first line healthcare, for those police, fire, military and other emergency personnel. Thank you for what you do. You are paying a price, and we appreciate it!

Please try to take care of yourselves.

Prayer: Father, we lift up those who serve in such critical roles to serve their community. Bless them, and protect them, Amen.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.                                                                                                Isaiah 41:10

We are all pretty familiar with the “Fight or Flight” syndrome as a response to acute stress or danger. Our bodies react with stress hormones to prepare us for action to ward off or flee from danger. We also know that even after the initial danger is gone, it takes a while for the chemistry in our bodies to catch up. For individuals who are chronically exposed to such hormonal rushes, the body gets ravaged with the chemicals that are supposed to activate us for action. Such continual flushes of stress cause long-term damage, including blood pressure problems, chronic inflammatory response, and a host of endocrine problems that prematurely can age us. Not good.

There is a third option that we sometimes default to- freeze. Sometimes, we simply do not react at all. It is as if we are frozen in place, unable to move in any direction. We are unable, for just the shortest time, to fight or to flee. We are stunned to inaction, perhaps not willing to believe that such danger even exists. It is almost a denial of what is right before us. We can liken it to being in a minefield. There is simply no safe direction to go in, so we go nowhere.

I find that in retrospect, clients often chastise themselves for the action they took during the crisis. “I should have done this”, or “I wish I had done that”. The truth is, often there is no right answer at the instant of crisis. Soldiers and first responders train all the time to learn a “trained response” so as to increase chances of proper action. Thankfully, they are typically well prepared, “overtrained” as it were so that the right action comes almost automatically.

For those of us who are not specifically trained for regular encounters with traumatic stresses, we may be surprised with the actions that we take in such situations. I trust that such crisis stress responses are rare in your life. In the next few days, I will discuss chronic exposure to stress and the reactions that can happen.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us these remarkable bodily reactions for our safety. We are in awe of how we are made to respond, Amen.

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”                                                     Mother Teresa

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”.                                                                                                                        Haruki Murakami

Yesterday, I wrote about the healing power of volunteering, that is, serving others in some way. The paradox I discussed was that we can live a fuller, richer life by “giving our life” in the service of others. This is not a dramatic statement. One does not need to become Mother Teresa in order to live a richer life. However, we do become healthier and happier as we serve others in volunteering.

It is typical for me to give homework to clients that includes reaching out in service to others. This enhances self-esteem, and it makes my clients’ world just a little bigger than it used to be. The social interaction involved is important, and the sense of satisfaction is powerful. It helps to enhance meaning for many to step away from personal problems and enter the world of others who may be suffering in a different way.

Pain is universal, but the decision to suffer is optional. Murakami’s quote above outlines this principle. Part of the human experience is pain, both physical and emotional. Yet we can decide how to handle that pain. We can recognize it, but not give in to it. We can help transcend our current pain by deciding to alleviate the pain of others.

In his book Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, Phillip Yancey told a story of a group of displaced men in France after World War II. They were wandering streets, begging, stealing, and generally giving up on themselves. They were living meaningless lives of bare subsistence. Then a priest encountered them, and challenged them to live beyond themselves and see the suffering children all around them- children who were hungry, barefoot, and destitute. Some of the men were deeply shamed and decided to start caring for those even more desperate than themselves. That eventually started a ministry that served homeless children who had been displaced by the war. Those men found dignity and worth by reaching beyond their own pain and serving others.  

Obviously, not all volunteering decisions are as robust as that story, but the principle remains. Healing of our own needs and our own spirit is often started by serving the needs of others.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the capacity to help heal the hurts of others. Thank you for this plan, Amen.

Dear brothers, what’s the use of saying that you have faith and are Christians if you aren’t proving it by helping others? Will that kind of faith save anyone?                                                                                                      James 2:14 (Living Bible)

I saw a piece on the national news today that caught my interest. Since today is Veteran’s Day (but you’ll read this on November 12), the news was about a veteran’s group called Team Rubicon. The group was started by a veteran of the Iraq-Afghanistan deployment era, and he had served several tours in those war zones. Upon his last return, he decided for his family’s sake that he would not take another tour in those dangerous areas. His greatest fear, he said, was visions of his mother having to bury him. His father asked him to retire, and he did.

However, he had a void in his life, and he knew that other veterans would also. They were used to serving others, and upon retiring from active service, they would need to find a way to respond to that call in their life. So, he founded the group called Team Rubicon. This from the Team Rubicon website:

 Team Rubicon is an international disaster response nonprofit that unites the skills and experiences of military veterans with first responders to rapidly provide relief to communities in need. Founded in 2010 with the expressed goal of quickly responding to large-scale disasters, Team Rubicon has deployed thousands of volunteers across the United States and world to provide relief to communities in need.

These veterans were used to seeing areas devastated by the effects of war. Now they serve in areas devastated by hurricanes, floods, fires, and other natural disasters.

I was drawn to this story because the idea of serving others as a way to live out a missional call in life just resonates so well with my theology. The paradox of life is that we live our life fully by giving it away in service to others. Those veterans, having already put their lives on the line in service to their country are continuing that mission in this powerful way.

In the coming days, I will be sharing a few stories about volunteering as a healthy, and healing, lifestyle. I hope you join me.

Prayer: We are made to serve others in order to serve you. Thank you for that plan, Amen.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.                                                 John 15:13 (KJV)

“All gave some, some gave all”.

I saw recently a TED-X talk by a young man who had been grievously injured about 10 years ago by a drunk driver. The young man appeared with his aunt to tell a story of his incredible journey of recovery from a devastating traumatic brain injury. He had to learn literally everything over again- how to walk, how to talk, how to think- everything.

I was amazed by his courage and tenacity. He embodies the human spirit to live, even in the face of having lost everything. I was humbled by this young man’s story, and also that of his aunt, who stayed by him and encouraged him every inch of the way back.

We are made with an incredible capacity to survive. Our human spirit is patterned after our Creator. Stories such as this serve as reminders how amazing the spirit of life is.

Then as I began to write, I noticed the date this will be published- November 11. That happens to be Veteran’s Day. On this day we celebrate the heroes of this country who served in the Armed Services. It seems fitting that I recall a story of courage, tenacity and service on this particular day.

Thank you to all of the men and women who serve and have served this nation that we love. As the saying goes, “All gave some, some gave all”. This phrase was popularized, I understand, by a Korean War veteran.

It cannot have been said any better.  

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for the Spirit you have put inside of us, Amen.

^“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.                                                                                                                                Genesis 50:20-21

I call it The Redemptive Principle. The passage in Genesis 50:20 embodies the principle of redeeming something bad into something good. I use this often with couples to explain that, for example, a seemingly devastating problem in the relationship can actually become the start of a healing that never could have happened unless the traumatic problem had occurred. The relationship can be better than it ever could have been had the problems not occurred. We see this time and again, not just in relationships, but in tragic life events. Life altering suffering can work toward long-term good.

In the story of Joseph, had his brothers not treated him so badly- selling him into slavery after planning to murder him- he would not have been in the position of later saving them, and much of the Middle East area from starvation. Joseph himself had the presence of mind, and the influence of the Holy Spirit, to see the events in a larger panoramic. He saw that the evil actions of his brothers had been used by God for the salvation of many, including his nefarious brothers.

At the time of our trauma or tragedy we, of course, are unable to see the long-range arc of God’s redemption of those events. Much later, we can often look back and see God’s hand clearly in the process. Faith dictates that we anticipate that God has his hand on the process for his glory, and our good. This is hard to do. I tell my clients that I do not expect them to see this now. It would be unfair to burden them with this at the time of their pain and suffering. But I ask them to trust that there CAN be a greater outcome than ever could have been if the trauma had never happened. The relationship can be stronger than it ever could have been had the problems never occurred.

Naïve? Pie in the sky? No. I have seen this so many times that I am convinced of the truth of this principle. Yes, it takes time and perspective to see this principle come to fruition. Is it possible?

Yes!  If we allow such thinking, and we work in anticipation of that possibility.

Prayer: Your hand is at work in ways that we cannot understand, but we trust your provision for our ultimate good, Amen.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.                                                                                                                    Psalm 147:3

I typically employ Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with my clients as a preferred treatment modality. I also like Solution Focused techniques. I find these approaches to be both practical and effective. Indeed, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been shown to be the most effective treatment for a number of mental health diagnoses. While I like an eclectic approach, incorporating modalities to my own natural instincts, as well as the unique needs of the client, CBT appears to be a very practical, effective approach.

Sometimes, I need to challenge my clients with actions, and confront what appears to be avoidance of personal responsibility. Problem ownership and personal responsibility are important not only for the collective good of society, those principles are important for dealing with personal mental health problems.

That is why I remind clients at times that, while looking back in history for origins of certain problems can be important, it does not solve the problem. Starting from right now with the hard work of changing behaviors is the key to success. Feelings will improve as behaviors toward health are begun.

Please understand, I recognize the terrible pain and hardship of early trauma in life. Indeed, it can shape the way we see the world, and much trauma-affected thinking often needs to be changed. Unfortunately, many people have not had the wonderful supportive family of origin that many of us have had. Therefore, we recognize and honor past pain in life. However, we cannot live there, and that is the art of counseling- to hear and try to understand the pain of the past, and work toward the healing of the present and future.

Prayer: Father, give us wisdom and freedom as we work to heal the broken areas of our life, Amen.