When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.”

 But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless, at Your word I will let down the net.”  And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking.  So, they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.  When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!”                                                                                                                                                                         Luke 5:4-8

 I listened to a sermon today from a pastor I really like. In fact, he is the pastor of my daughter’s church and we have come to see him and that ministry as our adopted church. He spoke about this passage from Luke 5 and his message was great, but I have always had a different takeaway from it than many people.

This passage involves our friend Peter. Peter was a business man, a fisherman. He depended on fishing for his livelihood. It was not sport or recreation, it was catch fish and eat or fail and not eat.

What I find so interesting in this passage is that it took this particular event to convince Peter about the majesty and authority of Jesus. It was not too long before this that Jesus had healed Peter’s mother-in-law from a fever. Jesus had done a flat-out healing of someone close to Peter- a healing he clearly was aware of. But it took Jesus to get Peter a great business success before he reacted in the profound way that he did to Jesus.

Peter was clearly awed by the power and authority of Jesus after the great haul of fish that day. So, that makes me think, Peter is just like me. Maybe all of us. We are of the “what have you done for me lately?” persuasion.

Yeah, I’m not really proud of that, but I also recognize the humanness of that. We all forget so easily what great things have happened in the past. Great answers to prayer, recovery from illness- whatever it may have been. We remember those things that hit close to home better than some other things. For Peter, that great catch of fish may have rescued him from financial disaster- who knows? It surely got his attention.

What I do know, is that Peter and I are probably pretty alike. Even after a long history of grace and answered prayers, I tend to say, “yes, but what about now? I need you now more than ever!”

I know that God recognizes this in his creation. I note that Jesus did not get upset with Peter in the least. In fact, Jesus told Peter that he would be, from that moment on, a powerful member of his team.

What a great fish story!

Prayer: Father, thank you for the great things you constantly do for us. Help us to remember them even in the lean times, Amen.

 

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.                                                                                                                                                                                        Matthew 5:9 

In his sermon on the mount, Jesus spoke about what later came to be called the “beatitudes”. One of those beatitudes was the one mentioned above- peacemakers. Jesus obviously valued peace, stating that the peacemakers were to be called “sons of God”- indeed, a high calling.

I think we are all called to be peacemakers, wherever we are. Think about situations where you have a choice to escalate a tense situation with an opinion, or to deescalate the situation by remaining silent. Or, you see an injustice happening, and you have the opportunity to take up the cause of someone being oppressed.

In my role as a counselor, I have the responsibility to evaluate situations, and try to bring healing and peace, as best I can into the situation. That does not mean that I cannot call out behaviors which are destructive or harmful. On the contrary, I am compelled to speak truth into situations as I see it. Yet, how does one bring peace into situations where there is strife and conflict?

Recently, I was on a phone call where there was much pain and anger, and indeed, some yelling and raised voices. My job was to deescalate the emotional overload, and be the voice of reason since I could be objective. My role was to try to restore a sense of calm as best I could. I found myself speaking very slowly and deliberately. I tried to listen empathically since it was clear that the person on the phone was in a great deal of pain at the moment. I asked that the person just give himself some space for a while, making sure that he was going to be safe.

I continued to speak slowly and calmly, trying to model the sense of calm that the caller desperately needed. I knew that time could give this person the needed space to regain his own sense of peace. Until then, he needed me to have a sense of peace and hope that he currently could not get to- understandable in his current situation.

I mention this because at times, we all can and do play the role of peacemaker. We can only do that if we ourselves have a sense of peace that God is in control. Whatever the situation, there is a solution. Our job is to be present, physically or emotionally, until that peace that passes all understanding can be felt by those whom we are trying to comfort.

Above all, the thing we all need is peace, the peace that comes from God.

 

Prayer: Father, thank you for calling us to be peacemakers. Give us the strength and opportunity to be your ambassadors of peace, Amen.

 

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:  A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
 A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
 A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
 A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
 A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;  A time to love,
And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace                                                                                Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

We have certain rhythms in our life that are often so subtle, we simply take them for granted. However, when those rhythms get disrupted, we know it. We feel uneasy, like something just isn’t right. The routines by which we mark time in our life have been disrupted, and we are thrown off course, however slightly. It bugs us.

The COVID-19 pandemic has done just that. It has altered our rhythms. We have, for example, become accustomed to having a rhythm of starting school in late August (yes, it gets earlier every year), and ending the school year sometime in late May. We gear our calendar around that from about age 5 or 6 on, and we keep that more or less, the rest of our lives.

Sports also does that for us. Sports has been described as the “toy store” of life. It is the fun place, the place where we can expend emotional and physical energy, but the end result typically isn’t life or death. It is supposed to be a fun diversion- something that is optional, yet enjoyable, and takes on some level of meaning in our life. We invest ourselves in the outcome of games, look forward to certain milestones, All-Star games, drafts, even fantasy teams. It is supposed to be fun.

And this year, it’s not. At least for me. The excitement of the baseball season is- not exciting. The anticipation of college football? Not happening. High school football? Just ask the athletes, coaches and school administrators.  It is tense and tenuous. Yes, it will likely happen to some degree, but for how long, we do not know.

There is no blame in this. Professional sports commissioners, college administrators, and high school superintendents are asked to make impossible decisions, then they are blamed whichever direction they go. No, the blame is the virus, and we can’t get our hands around it to strangle it.

So, this is one of those seasons. This is the season of COVID-19, our uninvited guest. We recognize that this is a season in our lives, and it can serve a purpose if we allow it. We can redeem it into a learning time and as a time of unprecedented resilience. Our rhythms might change a bit, and we will accommodate to that. Our sports will return, maybe a bit different, and maybe that will be OK.

I am looking forward to next season.

Prayer: Father, give me the patience to see this season for what it is. Seasons come and seasons go, you remain the same, Amen.

After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.  All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring.  The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part…                                                                                                                              Job 42:10-12

 

The book of Job is one of the oldest writings in the Bible, and it has been quoted, misquoted, and used out of context for centuries.  Don’t get me wrong, my guess is that I too will use it out of context and derive my own meanings, which may or may not adhere to orthodox interpretation. However, I will do my best to give you my ideas on the book.

The Book of Job is about suffering. That is why it has been so quoted and studied over the centuries. The one thing that is constant in the human story is suffering. I have pointed out before that Job’s “comforters” initially were very helpful to him when they simply sat with him and allowed him to share his terrible fate with them. It was when they offered their own ideas about why God had allowed such suffering that they caused Job more pain than ever. They accused him of having done some sin, perhaps something unknown, that God was punishing him for.

Finally, after what seems like an interminable amount of soul searching, speculation, and accusations, God appears on the scene and takes charge of affairs. God lets the men know that he alone was around when he created the earth. God alone has his reasons, or non-reasons for what he does, and because he is sovereign, he can, and will, do what he pleases. He owed the men no explanation for his actions, or for simply what he allows to happen.

After these men- good men by the way, well meaning people- finally got that message, God told them that they owed Job an apology, and he told Job to pray for them. God said that he would forgive them for the pain they inflicted on their friend, Job.

I thought this following sentence was very interesting- After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. It was only after Job prayed for his friends and essentially forgave them that God restored to him more than he had ever lost.

I am not suggesting that this is a formula for wealth or success. It was simply the way God worked. He restored Job’s dignity, then he restored his wealth after he had learned his life lesson.

There is so much to learn in this, but my takeaway is that God is God, and he certainly does not answer to me.

It’s just that I would like him to do that, and I need to catch myself on that one. How about you?

Prayer: Thank you for the lessons you give us. Forgive us when we expect that you, the sovereign God, owe us an explanation, Amen

 

The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
 For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.                                                                               Psalm 103:13-14

 

I love Psalm 103, and I often prescribe this as a reading assignment to my clients. I especially like the verses above, which depict God as the loving father who is drawing his children to him. Years ago, a friend painted a word picture of these verses which has stuck with me. It is that of the father of a toddler, just learning to walk. The father has his arms outstretched to the child, urging him/her on, encouraging the child when they stumble, picking them up when they fall.  The father does not yell at the child for incompetence- they are still a child. He draws them to him as an encouragement, knowing that this is a stage of development.

So, I like to think of God the father as this encourager. He remembers that we are dust, and I am glad for that. I think God wants us to know how much he loves us, and he is pleased when we acknowledge that. You parents who are reading this understand that it gives us great pleasure when our kids know how much we love them.

I see too many clients who question whether there is a loving God, much less one who personally loves them. Sometimes we all do struggle with “lovability”. There are times when we feel unworthy of love, and do not even love ourselves.

That is when we need the experience of being loved the most.

Prayer: Thank you Father for loving us like little children. Indeed, we are children dependent upon you, Amen.

 

 

Meanwhile, Saul (Paul) was uttering threats with every breath and was eager to kill the Lord’s followers. So he went to the high priest.                                                                                                                Acts 9:1

I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault                                                                                                                                                         Philippians 3:6

The last example of the temperament types is Paul. Paul is an example of the Choleric Temperament. The Choleric is one who is opinionated, driven, and strongly committed to a cause. Paul showed that he was this kind of an individual from the time he was a Pharisee who was persecuting Christians. Paul believed that they were corrupting the true faith of his people, and he would not stand for that.

Later, after the famous “Damascus Road” experience, Paul remained the committed and strongly opinionated religious leader, but now he was committed to the Christian faith.

Cholerics have strong opinions, and they act upon them.  They act fearlessly when they believe that their cause is right, and they can be ruthless in their driven nature. They are strong leaders, and they may have trouble with those who seem less committed than themselves.

Paul was present at the stoning of Stephen, an early Christian martyr, because he believed so strongly that Stephen was an apostate who was corrupting the true faith. Later, Paul himself died a martyr’s death because of those same driven commitments to the truth.

Paul’s zeal to do the right thing is admirable, but zeal must be tempered with openness to hearing another side of an opinion. Paul’s message at Mars Hill, where he preached to skeptics of the Christian faith, was a marvel of listening and openness to alternate world views. Paul continued to have zeal for his faith, but his zeal was now tempered by the grace of the gospel.

Paul’s zeal was evident in his approach to living out his faith. All temperaments are beautiful expressions of our created nature. Our job is to recognize our temperament, manage those specific tendencies carefully, and celebrate the gift that the temperament represents.

Tomorrow, we follow Paul at the Mars Hill event I just spoke about. We will see how he handled his views in the hostile environment, and won over the crowd.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the strengths you bless us with. Help us use them for the good of your people, Amen.

He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet”. Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”                                            John 13:6-9

The third temperament we will examine is the Sanguine Temperament. The primary characteristic of the Sanguine is social expression. Sanguines are expressive, and indeed may “think out loud”. They tend to be external processors. Whereas the introverts are internal processors, extroverts like the Sanguine, process externally.

Peter is chosen as an example of the Sanguine type because he seemed so uninhibited and impulsive. He needed to SAY something when an event happened. Peter would at times impulsively rebuke Jesus, then need to repent immediately. When Jesus was washing the feet of the disciples, Peter at first refused, then when Jesus told him the consequences, Peter quickly changed his mind.

Finally, Peter was the one who brashly said that he would never deny Jesus, yet he did so three times within hours of his boast. Later in his life, we find that Peter had tremendous courage, and was willing to speak and lead in dramatic ways, even dying a martyr’s death.

Sanguines can be engaging, vocal, spirited, charismatic, and exuberant leaders. Yet they can be impulsive and shallow if they do not manage their strengths well. Sanguines can bring the best out in others, and lead the way in making things fun and interesting.

Tomorrow, we deal with the last example of Temperament. Stay tuned to see who that character might be!

Prayer: As you made clear to Peter, you came to earth to serve. Thank you for the example of service that you gave to us, Amen.

But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: Exodus 3:11-12

Word of caution here- the four temperament types I will be discussing are ancient terms, and should be seen in that light. The concepts are useful, but the terms can be off-putting, so don’t let that get in the way of a good story! Remember too, all these temperaments are strengths, but if we do not manage those strengths, they become our weaknesses. I start with the Melancholy Temperament…

Many years ago, Tim LaHaye wrote a book titled Transformed Temperaments. In that book, he took four characters from the Bible, and studied them in light of the temperament he saw illustrated in them. I liked that approach, and I have, over the years, done my own explanation of those 4 temperaments which I introduced a couple days ago. So, with a tip of the hat to Tim LaHaye, let’s discuss temperaments by looking at some Bible characters.

Moses, the gifted leader of the Israelite nation was not always a leader, at least by his own thinking. As you may know, Moses was an Israelite raised in the palaces of Egypt. By any standards he was bright, gifted, and had a true sense of justice. He had seen a fellow Hebrew mistreated by an Egyptian and ended up killing the offender.

Later, having fled the palace for the solace of the desert, he was called after many years to his life mission at a burning bush where he encountered God. He had been called to lead the Israelites to freedom. Moses did not consider himself worthy or able for such a task, but God finally convinced him of his calling, with the assurance that God would lead him.

As Moses went on leading his people, he selflessly took on every aspect of leadership. So much so that his father-in-law came to his aid before Moses burned out completely. I think Moses was overworked and depressed, and so did Jethro, his father-in-law.

Moses during this journey had amazing intimacy with God, and was even given the task of delivering God’s laws to the Israelites. Moses went down in history as the famous “Law Giver” which later were expanded into myriad laws and customs of the Jewish people over the centuries.

Still later, the Israelites, a very difficult people to lead evidently, had so distressed God by their sinful actions that God said that he would wipe them out and start over. Moses stood in the gap, asking God to strike him down, but not his people.

Moses continued to have self-doubts despite his talents and gifts in leading thousands of people through the desert. Finally, at an advanced age, Moses was told by God that his successor, Joshua, would end up leading the Israelites to the Promised Land.

So, what characteristics do we see in Moses- the example of the Melancholy Temperament?

Moses was keen to injustice; he was talented and detailed in his approaches to leading; he was introspective and analytical to the point that he did not see his gifts like others did, and he had difficulty with self-confidence; he was completely loyal and dedicated, willing to give his own life for his people; he worked himself too much, taking on more than he should, and ended up feeling depressed.

That, in a very brief nutshell, is the Melancholy Temperament. Analytical, Detailed, Introspective, Self-Critical, Loyal, Devoted to the Cause.

The Melancholy Temperament is often very sensitive and attuned to things some others overlook. They are often very creative and detail oriented. So, if these attributes sound familiar, you might be of the Melancholy Temperament.

 

Prayer: What a gift the temperaments are! Thank you for your plans for us, Amen

 

 We have diverse gifts according to the grace that is given to us…                                                        Romans 12:6

 As I stated in yesterday’s blog, I think temperament is hard wired into us from conception. It is just one of those traits which is in the “hand we are dealt” so to speak. Temperament is a beautiful gift. We are diverse beings, and genetics make up that code. Personality, on the other hand, is formed by many different factors- our family environment, birth order, parenting styles, physical health, early childhood experiences- you name it. All those things contribute to how we interact with the world. Within a certain temperament, there are varied personalities. It is sort of like how climate is to weather. Personalities vary within temperament, but you generally can know what to expect given a person’s temperament.

The two broad categories of temperament are introversion and extroversion. Generally, extroverts give breadth to life, and introverts bring depth to life. That is, extroverts like going beyond themselves, having their best interactions with many others. Indeed, extroverts often think by talking. Introverts on the other hand, tend to do their best work on the inside, thinking deeply on their own, and working out issues by “marinating” on them internally.

I think opposites do attract, and the extrovert finds the introvert to be stable and secure, thoughtful and deep. The introvert finds the extrovert to be engaging, able to ease the introvert into social situations. The introvert likes the energy that the extrovert brings to the relationship.

Interestingly, I find that those initial attractions, over time, may become an annoyance. The very things that drew those types together can become a source of irritation.

Recognition and acceptance of our temperament is important to discovering and accepting how we are made. Often, our culture has rewarded extroverts more than introverts, and some introverts have the belief that being more “outgoing” is the preferred style.

The short answer is that extroverts need introverts, and introverts need extroverts. Celebrate your temperament, be aware of your strengths, and manage them for the benefit of those around you.

Prayer: Thank you for the diversity in the world you made. Help us to appreciate those not like us, Amen

So God created human beings in his own image.
In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.                                                                                                                           Genesis 1:27

There has been a great deal of interest in temperament types, especially in the past 30 years. People are fascinated by the idea that there are fundamental underlying forces in our make-up which drive our behavior and the way that we think. Indeed, I believe that temperament is etched into our genetic material, and that we have a natural “bent” of the way that we perceive the world and react to it.

Carl Jung (no relation as far as I know) popularized this in his work Psychological Types. The concept has been around for many centuries, darting back to Herodotus who wrote about the “4 basic humours (as he called them) which determine a person’s health”. Those humours were blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm. The balance of those humours, he believed, determined not only health, but the temperament of the individual. Those temperaments came to be labeled “choleric”, “phlegmatic”, “sanguine” and “melancholy”.

Interestingly enough, Jung’s later explanations of psychological types lined up nicely with Herodotus’s explanations, just with different names, and much more science to explain them. Later still, the Myers-Briggs Personality Types were themselves a further explanation of Jung’s Psychological Types.

Being a Jung myself (but not necessarily a Jungian), I do find temperament theory fascinating and quite helpful in explaining interpersonal relationships. In relationship counseling, it can be very helpful to discover temperament and explain to the partners in the relationship how those differences, which initially brought the couple together, now drives the other crazy.

What makes an Introvert attractive to an Extrovert, and vice-versa? What are the strengths and weaknesses of each type? How does temperament affect our responses to stress? Why do some people fail to appreciate their own temperament type?

These are some of the questions and concepts I will be discussing over the next few blogs. I hope you join me on the journey.

Prayer: We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and only you can really understand us. Thank you for your creative plan for diversity, which makes life so amazing, Amen