Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in airing their own opinions.                                          Proverbs 18:2

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”                            Abraham Lincoln

The quotes above are loaded with wisdom. The writer of Proverbs knew this 2500 years ago. Abraham Lincoln knew this 160 years ago. Yet, we all want to share our opinion on social media. Hey, I do it too. You are reading this in a blog that is on the internet. I like to share my opinion too!

I think the intent of these quotes- this wisdom- is that not all opinions are equal. Many people on social media, podcasts, and news organizations like to express their opinions. That is a right that many people around the world possess, (and sadly, many do not). If our opinions are not tempered with humility, and a diligent research of facts, then we would be better to heed the Lincoln quote above.

Just because we believe something does not mean that it is true. It is fine to express an opinion, but we have the responsibility to have it be an informed and thoughtful one. “Shooting from the hip” is not the best way to express an opinion. Indeed, that expression came about to describe one who fired their gun quickly without bothering to aim. The shot may hit its mark, but it was just as likely to wound an innocent bystander.

Just my opinion!

Prayer: Lord, give us understanding to choose our words, and share our opinions wisely, Amen

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate?  Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.                                                                                                                                                            Philippians 2:1-2

I spoke recently with a client who was a victim of physical and emotional domestic violence. She had early trauma and abuse in her life, and she struggles with rejection and abandonment. She is working hard to deal with these issues, but she is still trying to decide how she wants to handle the abuser in her life.

She is torn about whether to divorce him, feeling like she may be “giving up too soon” on him, and that he can change. This is a common situation with abused partners, and I understand her emotional struggle. She is wondering what it is about her that continues to miss the cues about men who hurt her. She is trying to determine how she can have better boundaries, and better recognition in the future.

These are excellent goals, and we are working on them, but in the meantime, she needs to be separated from the abuser. Going back with him, or even resuming contact with him, could be dangerous. I gave her the analogy that if one is in a burning house, the first thing to do is flee the house. You can’t wait to determine what caused the house to catch fire- that can be determined later. The first job is to escape the danger.

This resonated with the client. We talked about ways that he had controlled her, and she is gradually understanding that these are the methods abusers often use. I encouraged her to look to the future of the healing that she needs to do with her own children, and not to spend energy right now on reliving and understanding the abuse she recently escaped.

She is not alone, of course in the cycle of abuse that besets so many relationships. People who are in truly loving relationships are concerned about the best interests of their partner.

“How can I make your life better?” That is the type of question that loving people ask for their partners. Those are not the type of questions that her abuser asked.  

Prayer: Lord, help us look to the interests of those we love, to support and encourage them, Amen

Whoever has ears, let them hear…                                                                   Matthew 11:15

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder           James 2:14-19

I recently read a book titled Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus. In this book, the author is trying to get the reader in mind of how Jesus taught and thought, and how those who heard him may have received his teachings. 

One of the explanations the author used was that of the Hebrew language. It had a vocabulary of about 80,000 words. Compare that to the English language which has perhaps 400,000 words. Hebrews were used to having a rich and elaborate meaning to their words since they did not parse them out as freely as English-speaking people might. There may be several different associated concepts with one word in the Hebrew language.

When Jesus, for example, used the word “hear”, that meant that the hearer would not only hear the word, but believe it as well. Further, if one believed a concept, they were expected to act upon it as truth. In other words, hearing, believing, and doing were all tied together. If you hear your master tell you something, and believe it, the expectation is that one would act upon that belief.

I find it interesting in Western Christianity, we have somehow been able to separate belief from actions. Somehow, just holding onto a belief can be divorced from actions, causing some to fail to truly live out their faith. For them, holding a belief in the mind becomes paramount over acting out that faith for others to see.

James talked about the kind of faith that works- that is, the kind that other people can see and experience.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be doers of the word, not just hearers, Amen

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.                   Ecclesiastes 4:12

I recently spoke with a client who is dealing with anxiety. She has struggled with it for years, but her anxiety was exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, and because of that she sought treatment. The COVID pandemic has raised awareness of mental health needs in this country, and indeed, the entire world. I think there is a silver lining in the worst of situations when we look for it.

One of the huge downsides of the pandemic is how it caused division politically, socially, and even in faith communities. It seems that in some church congregations there were those who were upset with government closings of social gatherings, or mask mandates, and this caused much friction and dissent.

Some pastors took their congregations in directions that seemed to pit religious faith vs. scientific responses. The sad part of this is that science and faith/religion are not adversaries. Indeed, the Creator of science is the Creator of the world. The universe is ordered by that Creator’s grand design. God is no more opposed to science than an inventor is to his/her invention.

The anxiety exacerbated by the COVID pandemic was not a lack of faith, but rather the reaction by people to a threat. Anxiety was heightened in all, but for some, it was overwhelming. Anxiety is not too little faith in God. The solution is not simply “You need to pray and trust God more”. If that were the solution, there would be no anxiety. Rather, treatment of anxiety requires self-awareness, and willingness to seek multi layered solutions of all parts of our being- physical, spiritual and emotional. It requires us to reach out to others to help us when we are not able to stand alone.  

Indeed, trust in God is a critical part of dealing with anxiety, but no person suffering from anxiety should be shamed by others as “lacking faith”. God gives us tools to deal with anxiety in every dimension of our being.

Let us thank him for his provision.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us strong and vulnerable at the same time. Thank you for the tools you have given to deal with those vulnerabilities, Amen

“Well done, good and faithful servant…

I went to a funeral yesterday. It was the memorial Mass of my cousin’s wife, Betty. There was sadness, of course. A family had lost their mother, wife, grandmother, sister, etc. But this was truly a celebration of Betty’s life. You see, she lived a full life of love and service to her God, her church, her family, and her community. When someone lives such an impactful Christian life, we can indeed celebrate.

The priest who performed the Mass did such a beautiful job of explaining the Catholic liturgy of funerals, and the symbolism of each act performed. He spoke sincerely and directly to the family and comforted them. The message of Jesus was lifted high, and he used Betty’s life as an example of that.

The presence of family gathered in church to bid a farewell to one of its own is a powerful thing. The beautiful liturgy of the Catholic Church with its symbolism and message of hope gives comfort even in a time of great loss.  

One day, each of us will be on the other end of a funeral service. We want to make sure that our lives have been fully spent in the service of God and his creation. When that happens, there is sadness, of course, at our passing, but there is also reason to celebrate- and that is what we did yesterday.  

Prayer: Lord, be present with the grieving, and comfort them. Thank you for family, who can share the burden, Amen

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.                                 Colossians 1:17

 You bound the world together so that it would never fall apart                                          Psalm 104:5

As I was reading Psalm 104, I was reminded of the beauty and symmetry of creation. The Psalmist was not interested in how God made the earth, but he concentrated on how the earth reflects God’s majesty and marvelous plan. There was no question for the writer about the science of creation. That was not a relevant question for those who are focused on the Creator more than the creation.

The Psalm is a beautiful poem of thanksgiving about how nature works. The writer remarks that “You bound the world together so that it would never fall apart.” I think about what we know of physics and the presence of forces such as the “strong nuclear force” and the “weak nuclear force”. We understand that there are certain forces that are givens, such as gravity, and the nuclear forces mentioned above. Before any of these forces was the presence of the “first force”, the God who made the universe.  

He still binds this creation together, even though many may not recognize his hand. He is the primal force, and also the continuing force that allows nature to exist in such an amazing way.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the things seen and unseen in your creation, Amen

For Abraham will certainly become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him.                                                                                                                                                          Genesis 18:18

Abraham was one of the Old Testament patriarchs who is used to exemplify a temperament. Temperament is another way of saying how we are basically wired from birth. Abraham is an example of the Phlegmatic Temperament. Some illustrations of Abraham clarify this view.

Abraham was a very trusting man, one who obeyed God when he was called to a foreign land where he knew no one, and where he must leave his family and tribe behind. Once, when he was in a bit of a land dispute with his nephew Lot, Abraham tried to settle the differences by offering Lot whichever part Lot wanted. “If you want the east, I will take the west, if you want the west, I will take the east.”

Later, when he and his wife Sarah traveled to Egypt, Abraham told the Pharaoh that Sarah was his sister (a technicality, but not exactly the truth), which saved him from destruction, but landed Sarah in Pharaoh’s harem.

Abraham, when tested by God in being asked to sacrifice his son Isaac, he did not hesitate to follow that incredible ask. God rewarded his faith with a miracle of redemption which was an image of the sacrifice of Jesus for us.

Abraham was a peacemaker. The Phlegmatic Temperament seeks peace and harmony- a wonderful trait, and one you want on your team. That strength however, if not managed, can cause a problem- one might sacrifice truth for peace.

Phlegmatics are team players whose goal is cooperation. They do not care for conflict, and they simply want the team to succeed. They might come across as cool and aloof because they do not burn hot- they bank their fire so as to conserve energy. They typically are more introverted, and will gladly join the party- when invited to do so.

I like to think of the Phlegmatic Temperament like the chemical catalyst platinum. When platinum is added to certain chemical reactions, it speeds up the process dramatically, but it then precipitates out of the solution, not ending up in the new product. Phlegmatics make the process go better, but they do not seem to be as involved as the other temperament types. Phelgmatics are more observers of the action than participants in it sometimes.

Abraham was a trusting, gracious man who loved peace and harmony more than material goods. He would choose family over wealth and possible conflict.

Gotta love Abraham!

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the example of Abraham and his love for you and his trust in you, Amen.

So, God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.                                                                                                                                                           Genesis 1:27

I had the opportunity to talk with a client recently about her sense of humor. As we talked, it became evident that this gift arose out of the pain of a somewhat negative self-image. It was her way to divert others away from getting to know the real person inside who was insecure and hurting.  Some of this lowered esteem came from body-image issues from when she was a girl.

I see this often from both men and women. Our Western culture heavily influences women to be very body conscious, and that emphasis can transcend into a negative overall image problem. Indeed, body image comes into play with men as well. I have had many male clients who, while of essentially normal size, see themselves as that husky pre-teen whom others taunted as “fatty” or some such adolescent moniker.

It is funny how the image of our body becomes the definition of how we perceive ourselves. Somewhere in our head, we are still that husky adolescent who was wounded by the words or actions of others. Or maybe, we were the ones ourselves who were the ones giving negative feedback to ourselves.

The truth is we need to be able to see, to remind ourselves, that we are made in the Imago Dei – the image of God. Our soul and spirit are the things that last. Our bodies?

Well, we know what eventually happens to them.

Prayer: Lord, help us to remember that we are made in your image, Amen

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.                                                                                           Psalm 46:1

That phrase always leads to a story, so here is a story!

When I was young (yes, there was a time), I was involved in a rollover car wreck. I was 22 years old, and in my 1969 Rambler American. I had with me two young women. All three of us were in the front bench seat of the car. For those familiar with a Rambler American, it was a compact car. It was also a pretty generic and modest vehicle, fit for economy in all ways. Comfort or style? – not so much.

By the way, the young women in the car were my girlfriend, (now my wife of 51+ years), Deb, and her best friend Valerie. Of course, Deb was comfortably close to me in the front seat, and Valerie was perhaps not so comfortably sitting next to the passenger side door. We were, however, enjoying our ride from Oxford, Ohio to Dayton, Ohio.

That evening, it was raining, and the frugal owner of the car had managed to neglect the fact that the tires were in need of replacement. Money was tight, always, and tires cost maybe $25 or $30 apiece! I mean, whitewalls and steel belted radials were out of the question. But I digress- the tires were pretty bald.

As we approached a curve on a country road near Gratis, Ohio, I was going too fast for weather conditions (did I mention that I was 22 years old and had two young women in the car?). The nearly inevitable accident happened when I ran up the side of an embankment and the car seemed to stop and then slowly roll over.

So, here we are, upside down in the middle of a country road, rain coming down, not a light within sight, and on a curve where any car coming around the bend would easily smash into our helpless Rambler, which was sitting like a stranded turtle.

So here is the part where God does things for us that we can’t do for ourselves. As we sat in the car crawling around in the car’s interior (of course we did not have seat belts on), the next car that came upon us was the Preble County Sheriff. He ensured that traffic was stopped, helped us out of the car (which for all we knew might explode or erupt in flames), and took care of three scared and bewildered college kids.

Injuries were remarkably minimal. Valerie had a cut on her knee, Deb had a few bumps and scrapes, and I had some slivers of glass in my eyes from the shattered windshield. Valerie’s boyfriend from Dayton came and took us to Miami Valley Hospital where we were treated in the Emergency Room and released.

We often look back on this story as a provision from God that could literally have saved our lives. Often such interventions happen and we are not even aware of God’s provision for us.

This is one of those times that it was pretty obvious.

Prayer: Thank you, Lord for your presence in times of need, Amen

So, we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.                                                                      I John 4:16

I recently spoke with a client who shared that he feels inadequate, and that he doesn’t matter. He knows spiritually and intuitively that this is not true, but he struggles with the negativity that it brings to him regularly. We also talked about his relationship with God, and the struggle he has with “pleasing God” vs. simply “trusting God.”

Trying so hard to please God was like his efforts to please an abusive and distant father. His father is long ago passed away, but the concept of pleasing a father who was not able to be pleased affects this man’s view of God.

As we talked, it became clearer to this man how differently God loves us than a human father does. We human fathers will inevitably fail at some aspect of parenting no matter how hard we try. But we need to be reminded that God’s love for us is transcendent, and it is not based upon performance.   

So, take heart fathers. You do the best you can, and you are probably doing much better than you think at being a dad. The best thing you can do is remind your kids that God loves them more that you do- and you love your kids a lot!

Prayer: Lord, you have loved us with an everlasting love- what a gift! Amen