Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought.  And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”                                                                  Luke 18:1-5

In the book of Luke chapter 18, Jesus told a parable about a “persistent widow” to illustrate God’s response to prayer. In the parable, he told of a judge who was apparently a pretty aloof and uncaring person. In the story, the poor widow hounded him continually to seek justice from an adversary. The judge, tired of her constant pleas, and in order to get rid of her, finally granted her request.

The judge in this story was simply interested in saving himself from a woman who bugged him day and night. He responded to her not because he was interested in right judgment, but because he wanted to be unburdened of her requests. Jesus had told this parable to illustrate to his disciples that they should “pray and not give up”.

The point of this parable is not a comparison between God and the judge. It is a contrast between God and the judge. Jesus was instructing that we should indeed continue to pray and not give up, but the idea is not to somehow change the mind of a reluctant giver. It is to illustrate that we are praying to a God who is willing and able to grant our requests. We are encouraged to continue to seek God in the process.

Does God answer all our requests the way we would like, and when we would like? No, he does not. Does he hear and want to give us what is best for us?

Yes, he does.

Prayer: Lord, we trust in your provision for us, Amen

Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day            Genesis 32.24

We are called to live in radical love with a broken world. We are called to love others who do not show that same love to us. We are called to speak truth to power at times when that may not be understood. So yes, we are called to wrestle.

What is the alternative? To avoid the suffering of others? To simply live in our own safe spaces? Indeed, many people in the world do not have such safe spaces. We are called to be living out a love for people in ways that we have been uniquely equipped by the Creator.

So, my friends, what is the wrestling that you need to do?

Prayer: Lord, how would you be calling us to wrestle with you today? Amen

Have two goals: wisdom—that is, knowing and doing right—and common sense. Don’t let them slip away,                                 Proverbs 3:21 (Living Bible)

There is this debate about how counselors should respond to their clients with regard to giving “advice”. I have a simple distinction about “advice vs. opinion”. First, I believe that there should be real clarity about what each term is. Often, clients will ask me “what should I do?” I will then ask, do you want my opinion? I will give an opinion, if I have one, but I make it clear that I am not implying or saying that they should actually do what I am saying. I am simply giving them a point of view- an alternative way of thinking. If they ask my opinion, I will give it, with that caveat.

Advice looks like “You really ought to do this”. I very seldom give that sort of directive. More often, it may more look like “That is something that would not be good to do” – that is, intervening in a behavior that could potentially be destructive to them.  a distinction without a difference, but I try to be clear with my clients that they have agency- they maecisions about their own life. I am their advocate, accountability person, soft landing, encourager, confronter at times, and faithful listener.

I am not their decision maker.

Prayer: Lord, you are the great counselor on whom we rely, Amen

A twinkle in the eye means joy in the heart, and good news makes you feel fit as a fiddle.                             Proverbs 15:50 (The Message)

I have mentioned in past blogs about watching old, familiar TV shows from the past. Shows I grew up with like The Andy Griffith Show for example. I have seen all or almost all of those old black and white shows a number of times and yet, I watch. Why?

Well, I have thought about that, and I realize that it is certainly not for remembering the plot, or even for the laughs it gives. It is familiar, it is predictable, and it is comfort. Perhaps there is some nostalgia for a simpler time in life, and perhaps because it is so wholesome and inoffensive in an offensive social media world.

I watch because it gives me a feeling.

I am guessing you may do the same with other old shows, or maybe old movies. There is no harm in this, I think, because it serves a valid mental health purpose- it gives a time of respite and comfort, in a wholesome way. So, my friends, if you have your own comfort shows, enjoy them. May you have peace…

Prayer: Lord, thank you for little oases along the way in a stressful world, Amen

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.                                                                              Matthew 6:19-21

There is a saying used often in Alcoholics Anonymous that goes “You can’t keep it unless you give it away”. That paradoxical quote is full of wisdom. The idea is that for those in recovery (and all of us, really), we can’t really maintain the values of things unless we give them away. Another old truth applies here as well- “You can’t take it with you”. Yes, we can bequeath our wealth and possessions to others when we die, but that is not “keeping it”. The way to derive true value from our wealth, our wisdom and our work is to make sure that others benefit from it.

For those in recovery, they say, and I agree, the best way to maintain sober living is to invest in the success of another addict (perhaps as a sponsor). The joy and responsibility involved in that process helps to ensure a successful program for both sponsor and sponsee.  

I recently met with a man in recovery who shared with me that he believed that part of the reason for some of his past relapses had been because he had avoided sponsoring another addict. He had, be believed, unwittingly sabotaged himself by failing to invest well in other addicts.

We all must make decisions about how we “give it away” to others. Many may give money to cherished causes; many volunteer time to worthy projects; others mentor people, teach young people etc.

Whatever way we decide to “give it away”, we can’t go wrong. That is the way we can get great joy and value from what we have.

Prayer: Lord, remind us of how we are to share what you have given to us, Amen

The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world.  And he said to him, “I will give you all their authority and splendor; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to.  If you worship me, it will all be yours.”Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.’”                                                                                                          Luke 4:5-8

 “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely”

John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton, 13th Marquess of Groppoli

I kind of tend to overlook this fascinating passage of scripture where Jesus is tempted, or tested, depending on your translation. Maybe it is because I believe that Jesus would never have succumbed to such a deal offered by Satan. Yet, I also need to realize that Jesus here was fully man and able to be tempted. He had set aside the divine nature that he possessed so that he could fully identify with us, his creation.

Satan comes to Jesus when Jesus is fasting in the desert. Perhaps Satan thought that Jesus would be weak and vulnerable in this situation. We do see that Satan does claim authority over the kingdoms of the world. He said that they were his, and that he had authority to give it away to others- for a price. The price, of course, is to honor and worship Satan as lord.

Satan is not a threatening presence here. He comes across as reasonable and transactional, but also devious and dangerous. Jesus had the opportunity to seize the power of kingdom offered by Satan. Earlier, Satan had offered Jesus unlimited bread to ease his own hunger, and perhaps that of others.  

Jesus saw the dangers of worldly power. Seizing power always ends up as a trap. The very power one seizes ultimately traps the owner of it. We overcome evil with love, not earthly power. The power of kingdom and authority is indeed enticing, and I fear that many Christians have fallen in love with political power. However, we will never be saved by political power.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see the danger of earthly power and authority, Amen

Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life; don’t for a minute lose sight of them. They’ll keep your soul alive and well, they’ll keep you fit and attractive. You’ll travel safely, you’ll neither tire nor trip. You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry, you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep. No need to panic over alarms or surprises, or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner, Because God will be right there with you; he’ll keep you safe and sound.                                                                                Proverbs 3:21-26 (The Message)

Funny, or maybe not so funny, how others can see things in us that we cannot see in ourselves. I have had occasion several times this week to reflect to clients some positive traits that are almost invisible to the client themselves.

For one client I gave the visual analogy of my hand directly in front of my face so that all I could see was my hand. That, I said, (my hand) were the failures and missed objectives that he could see. His range of vision was blocked by the things he had missed on. As I drew my hand out further, I had a larger field of view, and I told him that if he can look beyond the things that he might have missed, there were a larger number of things that he had successfully accomplished.

As we get perspective, we can better see the whole field of behaviors that had been blocked by a narrow and blocked analysis. In fact, this client had been working almost heroically to care for an aging mother with cognitive decline. In his view, it was never enough. In my view, it was selfless caring.

I suggested that my view was a bit clearer since I had an objective picture, untainted by negative self-talk. Gradually, the client began to understand that perhaps his view was incomplete. Not totally in error or wrong, just incomplete. Sometimes, we just need a fresh look at things so that our picture becomes more complete.

What say you?

Prayer: Lord, help us to hear the input of others when our view might be inadequate, Amen

By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life     Psalm 42:8

I was having a discussion with a friend recently about prayer. Through the course of that discussion, we shared our thoughts on what prayer really is. We agreed that often we focus too much on a somewhat transactional understanding of prayer. That is, I ask something of God on behalf of myself or another person. Certainly, there are many aspects to prayer- adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication- the ACTS model- and supplication is only one part.

However, I think that prayer is really about personal spiritual formation. That is, the role of prayer is conforming me into what God has created me to be. Prayer is not about changing God’s mind about anything; it is about changing my mind about everything.

To the extent that I can conform my thinking closer to the way God sees the world, I am being transformed into who he made me to be.

Just a few musings on a cold winter day my friends, be well!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the opportunity to become closer to you in prayer, Amen.

 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives                                                                                                           Genesis 50:20

“Never let a good crisis go to waste.”

Winston Churchill

The above quote is attributed to Winston Churchill. As an aside, if you want the best quotes, check out Churchill, Mark Twain, Yogi Berra, Will Rogers, John Wooden, Dorothy Parker- well the list goes on for me. I’m sure you have your own quotable people. We can learn a lot from these brilliant individuals.

But back to Winston Churchill. The quote above is so full of truth! Every crisis holds within it the makings of a great new beginning- a fresh start at things. Rather than only seeing the negative in the crisis, we need to see it as a wonderful opportunity to grow and start anew.

The word “crisis” is derived from the Latin “crucis” from which we get the words crucial and crux. A crisis literally puts us at a crossroad. Based upon how we approach the crisis, and resolve it, we get some type of resolution. Things cannot stay at a crisis level long before some resolution must be found. Indeed, the longer we stay in crisis, the more stressed and anxious we remain. Crisis begs for some type of resolution.

The key thought here though is that we can embrace the crisis for a healthy positive change. Churchill recognized that the wise person will see beyond the crisis state to a potential resolution- one that can effect a stable future.

Without crisis, we may not get to the place we needed to be.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see past the crisis to a desired future, Amen

And my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus  Philippians 4:19

 One of the questions that I suggest for my couples counseling clients ask to one another is this: “What do you need right now”, or “what would you like right now”?

The answer could be anything- a hug, time alone, a back rub, silence, a good laugh, dinner at a new restaurant- you get the picture. It could be anything. The point of the interaction is to open up oneself to meeting the needs or desires of the other. Even the question is thoughtful and caring. Moreover, it gets each partner in the mindset of questioning to themselves- “What do I need right now?”, or “What would I really like right now?”

I am not talking about “I’d like to win the lottery”, or “I’d like the Cincinnati Reds to win the pennant” (though I would!). I am talking about small, practical stuff- things that are practical as well as doable right now or very soon.

Getting in touch with such thoughts is helpful, even important. We often don’t really think of these things consciously, and it is good to just get in touch with these practical things that might bring us a little joy.  

So, what do you need, or what might you like right now?

Think about it.

Prayer: Lord, you are the supplier of our needs and we are grateful, Amen