I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them                                                                                      I Timothy 2:1

I recently spoke with a client who struggles with anxiety. We discussed his “escape tool kit,” which is my name for the plan of action to be deployed at the times when anxiety “overthink” gets troublesome.

We talked about his kit, and he stated that one effective tool he uses is to pray for someone else when he starts to feel the revving up of anxious thoughts in his mind. When he does this, he feels that he has taken the attention away from himself and has begun to consider the needs of others.

I thought that this was a brilliant strategy. He believes that gratitude and anxiety cannot exist in the same plane. So, he prays for others to dissipate the overthinking on his own worries.

I told him that his strategy was brilliant.

Prayer: Help us to remember that praying for others serves us as well, Amen

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
 The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field;
 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.
 But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
 and his righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep his covenant
 and remember to obey his precepts.

Psalm 103:13-18

I typically give homework to my clients as I have noted in this space in the past. Sometimes I will assign this passage from Psalm 103. What beauty and simplicity is found in this passage. I tell my clients that the Bible writers would often give analogies to teach about the character of God. We can only know of God through the senses, and the tools given to us to understand our world and our environment. Of course, the Spirit of God enlightens us as we give him the room to do so also.

This passage reminds us of God’s love for us – like we love our own children. We can relate to that. I especially like the idea that God knows how we are formed, and he has pity on us. He knows that we are like failed children sometimes, yet he has compassion for us, like we might for a four- year- old child who makes foolish mistakes at times.  God is not interested in shaming and humiliating us. Like a loving Father, he has compassion, grace and understanding.

Remember that.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for these simple reminders, Amen

Or, God’s kingdom is like a jewel merchant on the hunt for excellent pearls. Finding one that is flawless, he immediately sells everything and buys it                                                                                               Matthew 13:45-46 (The Message)

In the message today at my church, my pastor referenced the movie City Slickers as he explained the first commandment that God gave- “Love the lord your God”. What an excellent reminder he gave about the 10 commandments starting with positive statement- not “thou shalt nots”.

I decided to reprint an old blog based upon that movie as well. Hope it hits home like his message did today…

Years ago there was a great movie titled City Slickers. It starred Billy Crystal, a genius comedian and Jack Palance, a veteran “tough guy” actor. The movie is a story of some men who were casting about in their life with career and relationship problems. They left for a western adventure and came away with some amazing life experiences and changed lives.

In one scene, Billy Crystal’s character, Mitch, is riding alone with Curly (Jack Palance). Mitch asks Curly some probing questions about his life, and Curly replies, “You just have to find that one thing and go after it”. Mitch says, “What is that one thing?”. Curly replies “That’s what you have to find out”.

Jesus spoke in parables often to teach his followers the great answers to life. Jesus said in response to a question from a follower, Or, God’s kingdom is like a jewel merchant on the hunt for excellent pearls. Finding one that is flawless, he immediately sells everything and buys it.

Jesus was talking about the Kingdom of God- the source and final goal of salvation. He related to them that once one finds that “One Thing” he or she will give up everything for it, because it is the prize worth everything.

Finding our source of redemption, the sacrifice that Jesus made for us, is that jewel, that “Pearl of Great Price” as the old translations called it. So too, we have aspirational goals- the life missions we have been called to. We search for that, and upon finding it, we sell out everything to pursue it. That is what gives life satisfaction and fulfillment.

So, to go back to Mitch’s question, “What is that one thing?” for you?

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the teachings of Jesus which change our life and give us life, Amen.

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”

G.K. Chesterton

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.                                                  Philippians 4:8 (The Message)

I recently came across this quote from G.K. Chesterton, and it rings true with one of my themes in life. The things that truly motivate us well, and consistently, are positive things. Motivations that come from fear, and desire to escape, can be powerful, but they are ultimately short lived and draining.  

In the long run, positive motivators give energy and zest to life. Motivators based upon fear and escape deplete energy, and can wreak havoc on our emotions and our body. Chronic stress depletes serotonin levels, and raises cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone involved in regulating our metabolism, blood pressure, immune response, weight control, and inflammation of body tissues.

When we are in a constant state of stress- such as is caused by fear and need to escape- we are damaging our bodies and minds. Some stress, of course is unavoidable. That is the price we pay for being human. Yet, if we can keep in mind positive motivators, and recognize the negative motivators, we have a choice of how we want to proceed.

Seeking the positive goal is the motivation that energizes us.

Prayer: Lord, help us to keep in mind what our true goals and motivators are, Amen

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end                                  Ecclesiastes 3:11

Does time go faster as we age? Yes, it does! And no, it doesn’t. How can that be? Well, time goes at the same pace all the time, as long as we are not approaching the speed of light, and I don’t think that we are. At least not yet.

However, our perception of time changes as we get older. Since those of us with some decades under our belt have a breadth of experience with time, time seems to go quickly. We have many years to compare the passage of time with. Younger folks have less experience with time. For instance, a year is a significant proportion of a 6-year old’s life. In fact, about 16 % of it.  

For some of us older folks, one year is only perhaps one seventieth of it, or around 1.4% of it. So, a year to a 6-year-old is a long time. For those of us in our seventies, it is a mere blip on the screen. Perhaps too, we see the passage of time differently in other ways. We feel that time may be running away from us, while a 6-year-old cannot wait until that next year is completed!

So, you get my drift. The perception of time is indeed relative. Therefore, we are encouraged to cherish each day as a gift from God. One more day he has given us to live in his amazing creation!

Prayer: Lord, help us to redeem each precious day! Amen

and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.” Then Abimelek king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her.                                                                                          Genesis 20:2

I am continuing the discussion of the “peaceful type” today. Yesterday, I explored the strengths of the peaceful type. Today, we look at those strengths if they are not managed well.

The reluctance of the phlegmatic temperament (the peaceful type) to be more proactively engaged with others can be construed by others as aloofness and a lack of involvement. Distance, perhaps, can be inferred. Their willingness and ability to see both sides can also be a way of simply not taking a stand in order to avoid social risks.

Finally, the unwillingness to commit can also be a way to avoid difficult decisions, or the desire to not offend others, leading to sacrificing truth for peace. As we see in the Bible verse above, Abraham slanted the truth (see Genesis 20:12) in order to have peace with he and his wife Sarah in Egypt.

All of the temperament types have wonderful strengths, but if those strengths are not managed well, they become weaknesses. In past blogs I have discussed the other temperament types. If you let me know, I will gladly go over those as well in the future.

In the meantime- “Go in peace! 😊

Prayer: Lord, you have made us in your image. Help us to honor you in that, Amen

So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives.  Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”                 Genesis 13:8-9

I spoke recently with a client about her husband’s temperament. I explained that his temperament was that of the phlegmatic, a temperament type whose main strength is being a peacemaker and conciliator. That strength makes phlegmatic types great team members, ones who make the whole team function better.  

I likened this type to the catalyst platinum. If you add platinum to certain chemical reactions, it speeds up the reaction, but often it then precipitates out of the chemical solution, not being part of the final product.

Do you know someone who has the phlegmatic temperament? They are often more introverted, not putting themselves forward, and may be reticent to get involved in areas where they have not been specifically invited. They have a lot to offer, but they usually need to be invited to participate, not wanting to push themselves on people. They are peacemakers who value peace over conflict. They make great ambassadors who are able to see both sides of an issue, but they are often reluctant to weigh in on one side over another.   

Of course, this is a very brief and cursory explanation of the type, but I explained this to the client who has trouble with her husband’s temperament. Tomorrow, I will discuss the strengths of this temperament, which, if not manage well, becomes a weakness.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for how you make people in different temperament types, flavors and colors, Amen

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I often am in the business of educating my clients about their anxiety and depression. Specifically, I give them tools to be able to handle such conditions, and one of the things I typically tell them is that fighting these problems is a team sport, not an individual one. By that I mean is that success in dealing with mental health issues is achieved by naming the teammates who are in the fight with you. Don’t try to go it alone.

Healing is done in community. Those that love us are wanting to engage in the fight with us. When the anxiety feels overwhelming, you call on a teammate. When you are awash in depression and feel defeated, call on a teammate.

What stops us from getting the help? I suppose there are lots of reasons. First, we must be willing to admit that fighting alone is not usually successful. Reaching out for help is difficult, it can be awkward, and it makes us feel vulnerable.

However, reaching for that help is the first victory. Just by admitting that we need help, want help, is the first and most important step in that healing. Contacting a therapist is an important step, but it is not the only one. Gather a team of people who care about you, and let them know of your plan to seek help.

You are on your way to healing.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see the power of a helping team, Amen

 “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Matthew 14:12-14

Jesus used various opportunities to teach his disciples. Once, on the way to a party of a prominent Pharisee, he chose to heal a man on the Sabbath. This was just the warm-up for future paradoxical teachings that day.

Upon arriving at the house of the Pharisee, he noted that people were jostling for position at the head tables. He told his disciples to pick the lower, less prominent seats. In that way, they could be asked to move up to the front. If they chose a front seat, they risked the embarrassment of being asked to move down in the social pecking order.

Finally, he told his host, When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.  But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

His message? Don’t follow usual social conventions. He was saying that his world view flew in the face of the world’s expectations. This is the concept of “contra mundum”. That is, going against the conventions of the world system.

We as Christians are always being asked to determine our values in light of how Jesus sees the world, not popular conventions. So, care for the poor and marginalized is a value that Jesus holds. We need to decide how that drives our own value system.

Prayer: Lord, help us to follow your road less travelled, Amen

“What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.”                           Caroline Myss

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.                                                                                                                                                                  Psalm 139:14

The mind-body connection is a fascinating thing. I mean, we really cannot sperate the two because they are part of the whole- the components- that, along with our soul makes us…us. Our physical health and our mental health are inextricably connected. In fact, both affect one another constantly and often in subtle ways.

People who are under chronic stress age more quickly than those under less stress. The presence of stress hormones coursing through our body, especially when they should not be present at high levels, causes us to die prematurely.

I was recently talking with a client who had been raised in a dysfunctional family, where neglect was a way of life. It is the only way she knew to perceive the world. We discussed the effects of this, and it can properly be called trauma, even though she was not physically or sexually abused. Her way of looking at the world, and relationships, was altered in a way that caused her chronic stress.

She was always vigilant of the world around her, a world which was not seen as particularly safe or supportive. She learned to “read people” and find ways to navigate situations to ensure that she was emotionally safe, perhaps even physically safe.

Eventually, her body began to tell her that this was not healthy. She got into counseling, found that vigorous exercise was a way that she could find control and safety, and she eventually came to have excellent insight into how to better navigate a world that was not perpetually threatening to her.    

Our health care system seems to do an excellent job at treating illnesses when they are discovered. But our system does not do very well at prevention of problematic lifestyle issues, and the chronic stresses that we face which can lead to physical health problems.

Our reminder- physical, spiritual and emotional health are inextricably tied together. Proper healthcare means that we pay attention to all aspects of our being.

Prayer: Lord, you have designed us to have true integration of mind, body and Spirit. Help us to care for all parts of us, Amen