I was speaking with a client recently about his communication with a person he is seriously dating from a distance. We talked about some of the miscommunications that can come from reliance upon texting for communication. Texting, by definition is a short fast medium meant to convey mostly factual information. It is not always very good about communicating emotional content. Texting has its place, and it can be very effective as far as it goes. However, for conveying something deeper, more intimate, handwritten letters are great.

Yes, very old school- but it is effective.

The beauty of a handwritten letter is that it slows things down so that meaning can be absorbed. In the hyper fast world of texting, instant response is often expected. That response may be hurried, lacking nuance, and certainly, it does not by its very nature communicate warmth and intimacy.

Handwritten letters can convey some weight. They take time to reach the recipient, and they can be received with a sense of warmth. You are holding a piece of paper that was handled by that person with whom you are corresponding. You are seeing how they formed letters, and you can respect the amount of time and effort that it took to compose the letter. There was a process, a somewhat cumbersome process, involved in that person reaching out to you. That letter was crafted with forethought. Time was taken to say what they wanted to convey, and you as recipient have time to process the information before you respond yourself. It slows down the process, but it also deepens it.

In the classic Ken Burns documentary, old letters helped us to learn about the Civil War in a very personal way. Burns gathered a great deal of history from those letters, and more importantly, he explored the perceptions and thoughts of those people who were affected by the war. These were beautiful, poignant letters preserved through history, which helped to make that history come alive. Those handwritten letters were a lens into the thinking and feeling of people who had poured their hearts into the written word.

We of course cannot rely upon handwritten letters as our primary or expected mode of communication. However, there is something to be said about that “old school” way of communication that we can still use to great effect in a world where instant communication does not always hit the mark very well.

I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be…

From the children’s book, Love You Forever by Robert Munsch

 The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.                                                                  Jeremiah 31:3

I was speaking with a client the other day, and she was relating the pain she felt about the rejection of her adult daughters. The client had been alienated from them for various reasons, and she was unsure how to begin the reconnection process. One of the daughters was in an alternative lifestyle, and the daughter perhaps assumed that her mother would disapprove. Damage had been done on both sides over the years.

I suggested to the client a very simple approach. “Reassure your daughters that you will always love them, no matter what.” Now this is not a very novel, nor even creative approach, but I believe it is the one with the most impact. I asked the client if that statement were true. She said, yes, that statement is true.  

The fact is, when we love others, we need to assume that we will love them forever. That does not mean that they will not hurt or disappoint us, but it does mean that, no matter what, I will always love you.

Isn’t that what God says to us? Isn’t his love unconditional? No, we are not able to love as perfectly as God does, but we can decide that the love we have for our partners, our children, our family, our friends will always be there.

Letting those close to us know that we will love them forever is a very powerful statement, indeed, a gift.

I say, give that gift often.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the marvelous capacity to love one another. Thank you..

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free                             John 8:32

A.I. Artificial Intelligence. How do you like it? It is here to stay you know- for better or worse. You have encountered A.I. many times by the time you have read this blog today. It tries to correct your spelling (no thanks), it is in the reels you watch on Facebook; it is in the obituary you read about a friend’s passing. It is everywhere.

It saves time to be sure. It is convenient. It likely even can help solve serious health and technical problems among many other marvelous feats. Yet, please do not count on it for truth, because it is only a collector of information. Truth may or may not be involved in the A.I. equation.

Artificial Intelligence is built by gathering all known information from a myriad of sources. It does not, and cannot, discern truth. A.I. scrapes the internet for information from all the inputs it can find, and it can do that very quickly and thoroughly. But please do not expect that the information will necessarily be true.

The internet is full of many disproven and discredited theories and “facts”. The internet may, for example, contain many stories about the Jewish Holocaust being a hoax. There are sites where conspiracy theorists and crackpots have spread stories of a “Holocaust hoax” for many years. A.I. may well incorporate some of this information into a query about the Holocaust. Readers in the future may not be able to determine how “true” this information is and therefore may incorporate it into some “historical” account of World War II.

Social scientists tell us that after three generations, history can get distorted, as those passing on the information they had lived, pass into eternity. Future generations may rely upon other accounts which deviate a bit from lived history. Unless we are very careful, history itself can be distorted to the ends of a political or social power.

So, I am wary of A.I. It can be a very helpful, even essential tool for the future of mankind. But just like fire, the very discovery that made life on earth sustainable, it can be used for good or it can be a tool of manipulation and convenience. We must be cautious of the uses of this genie now out of the bottle.

Prayer: Lord, give us wisdom as we seek ways to live in a changing world, Amen

Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.” Genesis 1:28 (New Living Translation) (NLT)

In the old King James version of the Bible, the above verse reads: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

I have often felt that in the King James rendition, people often seemed to feel empowered to “subdue the earth” in whatever fashion they wanted. That included many practices that have been seriously deleterious to the health of the earth, our environment, and human kind as well.

The translation by the NLT gives a more nuanced and thoughtful translation. It uses the words “reign over”, rather than “subdue”. We humans have been given the role of stewards of the earth and its marvelous resources. Sadly, we have often exploited those resources- sometimes due to greed, sometimes due to indifference, sometimes due to ignorance.

When we reign over the earth, as we would hope that our governments would reign over their people and nations, we should expect order, efficiency, safety, and a future orientation for sustained health.   

We have a rather spotty (at best) track record as being stewards of the Earth we are to reign over.

Prayer: Lord, forgive us for our failures to reign well over your creation, Amen

 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” 

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

The man replied to Jesus “Who is my neighbor?

Luke 10: 25-27

I am reading an excellent, thoughtful book entitled The Ethics of Encounter, by Marcus Mescher. The book is based upon the parable of the Good Samaritan that Jesus told, as recounted in the book of Luke. The parable was in response to the question of a follower who asked the definition of “neighbor”. Jesus had just explained that one gains eternal life by loving God with one’s whole heart, and loving one’s neighbor as one’s self.

The nature of the question seems to be one of trying to define limits to the generosity one must extend by limiting the definition of “neighbor”. We are used to thinking of neighbors as being people we can summon by shouting out our door. Those that hear us are neighbors.  Pretty small definition, right?

Jesus expanded the whole story by not only not limiting who can be considered a “neighbor”, he upped the ante by making the story’s hero a hated Samaritan. He doubled down by having a Priest and a Levite disregard the fallen victim. Jesus knew how to stick the needle into those who would stubbornly try to limit the length of love to be extended outside their own tribe.

We will talk more about this in future blogs. For now, just read the passage in Luke, and take in the beautiful irony that Jesus uses to make his point.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to expand our own definition of neighbor, Amen.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters                                                                                                                                               Colossians 3:23

Today is Labor Day as celebrated in the United States and Canada. Many countries celebrate the dignity of labor on May first (Mayday). Whatever day we celebrate the dignity of labor, it is well deserved.

Somehow in the Genesis story, some people seem to have been confused that the need for humankind to work is the result of the original sin. I disagree. God ordained work for humans to help us appreciate the capacities that He gave us to explore and create good in our environment. I think our view of work depends solely on our attitude toward it. Is it a necessary evil, or is it the opportunity to build in us a sense of accomplishment and worth?

I am grateful that God has given us a platform, no matter what our profession or gifts, to honor him with giving back what he has given to us. God has bestowed upon all of us many talents and gifts, interests and passions, that can be worked out through our work.

Yes, work is a necessity in order to earn a living for ourselves and our family, but isn’t that also quite a gift that we are enabled to give to those whom we love?

Prayer: We give you praise Lord for the gift of expressing ourselves through our work, Amen

This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us be full of joy and be glad in it.                                                   Psalm 118:24

Over the years of my counseling practice, I have literally seen thousands of clients. I have been blessed to be in the field for over fifty years. (Yes, I did start young!) Over those years, I have been blessed to be a part of the story of so many people. I saw people who struggled with mental illness, relationship problems, anxiety, depression, complicated physical problems, symptoms that resulted from emotional and neurological problems, grief issues- the list goes on.

In that time, I have been so impressed with the human spirit. I saw many clients who dealt with significant problems, to the point that I did not know how they kept going. But the ones who did keep going had a chance at healing and recovery. Some simply needed support to keep that hope alive.

My point here is that there are times that people indeed want to give up. I don’t necessarily mean people who contemplate suicide, although many more people do contemplate suicide than one would ever guess. I am talking about people who decide to stop trying to live a healthier or more productive life. They simply give up on hopes and dreams, and sort of “go through the motions”.

Please understand that I am not blaming people for their choices. I have not walked in their shoes. I do not know the pain that they faced, nor the troubles that they have experienced. I do say though, that the only failure is giving up hope. The only failure is to not try to live a life that is meaningful.

To be sure, not everyone has the same opportunities, the same gifts. We do all have a life that God has given to us to use until we die. We can live a meaningful life, even when we are disabled, paralyzed, sick, or even terminally ill. The decision to live until we die, not just exist until we die is all in our hands.   

So, take heart dear readers. Look at each day as a gift of time to be used, and cherished.

Prayer: Lord, you give us one day at a time. Help us to cherish that day, Amen

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.                                                                                   Philippians 4:8

We hear that word “whatever” said at times in verbal exchanges as a way to end a conversation- often abruptly and unsatisfactorily. The writer Paul of Tarsus however used it in a much more beneficial way. He used the word as a term of acceptance in the truest sense of the word.

His suggestions in the letter to the Philippians contains some of the best mental health advice I can think of. He says, in essence, concentrate on what is positive in your world. There is plenty of negative around you, and if you spend a lot of time dwelling there, you might end up living there! But consider what is good. Move toward that, and you will be a lot healthier and better off.

I like Paul’s plan.

Prayer: Lord, help us to concentrate on what is good, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable, Amen.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.                                                                                             Psalm 23:4

Last week when we were at Chautauqua, we heard a Jewish writer talk about the time that his father passed away, and his mother insisted that he “sit Shiva” as per the Jewish custom. He was about 20 years old at the time, and he had resisted doing this ancient practice, but finally acceded to his mother’s wishes.  He went on to explain that he was moved by this experience, and ended up becoming a Rabbi because of it.

The practice of Shiva dates back to early Hebrew history, and it involves sitting seven days after the burial of a close loved one. This practice helps the grieving process by making it “real”, and easing the family into the new normal that is to follow. During that time, friends and family come by the home of the grieving family, and sit with them to comfort them in their loss.  This beautiful practice is both humane and therapeutic for both the aggrieved and the comforters.

I had occasion to bring this up recently with clients who needed to learn how to better comfort one another. I suggested to them the story of Job, whose friends came to sit with him for seven days upon hearing that he had lost family and possessions, and even his own health.

There is great value in simply sitting with those who have had loss or emotional pain. In fact, Job’s friends did a better job of comforting him when they just sat with him and did not speak. It was when they started giving advice that things got to be a problem.

There is great value brought when friends just sit with one another in hard times. What a beautiful way to show love and care.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be comforters to those who grieve, Amen

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world                             James 1:27

We are creatures of habit and routine. Such things give us a sense of comfort, stability, a grounding in times that are uncertain. Religion is one of those things. Religious practices give us a sense of meaning, and the comfort of knowing that there is a Power higher than ourselves who is the First Cause, or Creator of the universe. The philosopher and theologian Thomas Aquinas in the 13^th century, used the term “First Cause” in explaining the need for a Creator. He reasoned that there had to be such a Being, because “something” does not arise from “nothing” unless there is a mover, one who causes such action.

Our need for religion is one of those things that is a human trait. We seek higher understanding, and the existence of God is the natural (for many people) explanation of life.  From such thinking we arrive at religion, which is a formalized, and systematized way of thinking about God.

We know the origins of our Christian faith, and its having arisen out of a Jewish background- the very lineage of Jesus. After the first centuries of the Christian faith, it too became institutionalized into a system of practices, dogmas and hierarchies which have evolved over the centuries.

Faith and religion are not one and the same.

If we can allow ourselves to understand that faith is a vibrant and growing expression of who we are in relation to God, we can more easily accept that religion may actually sometimes get in the way of understanding God, who is bigger than religion. Religion, after all, is the human’s way of understanding and expressing our relationship to God.

It is a bit scary sometimes to consider our relationship to God in ways other than through the lens of religion.

Prayer: Lord, help us to relate more closely with you in relationship, Amen