May we be refreshed as by streams in the desert                                                          Psalm 126:4 (Living Bible)

Yes, that is a weird heading for a blog – “The Tireds”. In fact, I’m pretty sure that “tireds” isn’t even a word. But for my purposes, it works, because today I want to talk about three kinds of tired. Since we are physical, spiritual, and mental/emotional beings, I contend that we can get tired in each of those dimensions. We are typically used to thinking of being tired as a physical phenomenon, and indeed, that happens to all of us.

Yet, we can be emotionally or spiritually tired, and we often pass it off to what we know experientially- being physically tired. As we know, the remedy for being physically tired is sleep. We take a nap (or we drift off during that favorite show in the evening- OK, I do), or we go to bed for the night and sleep in order to get refreshed. That, of course, is how it is supposed to be. Sleep is the remedy for physical tiredness.

But how about the remedy for emotional or even spiritual tiredness? Is sleep the remedy for those? I would say no, it is not. The remedy for emotional or mental fatigue is often exercise, or a physical activity that gets our heart rate up. Sleep can be merely an avoidance when mentally or emotionally fatigued, not a remedy. I suggest often to my clients that if they recognize mental or emotional fatigue- “exercise until you are physically tired”. With that, they have energized their mind and often helped clear it of thoughts which are dragging them down.

So, physical exercise is a possible remedy for mental/emotional fatigue, and sleep is a remedy for physical fatigue. What might be the remedy for spiritual tiredness?

Gotta stay tuned for that one…

Prayer: Lord, you give us ways to refresh our bodies and spirits. Give us the discernment to know how to refresh, Amen

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things                                                                  Philippians 4 :8 (KJV)

Sometimes the old King James version of the Bible brings a sense of poetry and majesty into our life. I chose the verse above because it contains some great mental health principles. This verse encourages us to concentrate on beauty, wholesomeness, uplifting things. What better way to set our mind on things that can bring us into the presence of God? What better way to avoid the evil in the world that besets us?

Choosing to think on those things led me recently to stay away from current events podcasts and news analysis as I do my morning walk. The choices that we make to set our minds in certain directions sets the tone for the whole day.

I would say that Paul, the writer of this letter (from jail no less!), knew how to seek good mental health.

Prayer: Help us Lord to stay in that positive lane of thinking, Amen

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”                                                                                John 8:32

Many years ago, in college, I read an essay by Matthew Arnold, a British writer, educator and philosopher. His piece was entitled Hellenism vs. Hebraism, and it struck me to the point that I actually read it again, even after it was no longer required reading! Yes, it fascinated me.

The essay discusses two different worldviews, that of the Greeks, and that of the Hebrews. He explained that these worldviews guide our viewpoints on many things in life. The Hellenists looked at things empirically- they tried to see things as they are, and they were open to only rational or logical explanations of their world. They were willing to test and try things with a more open mind, seeking truth through knowledge.

Hebrews, on the other hand, saw things as they should be, under the guidance and order of God. They saw that not everything can be explained by rational thinking and logic, and that there was a mystical part of life that they simply accepted as true, even without proof. They were seeking truth by acknowledging that there was a God who gave that truth, and their job was to follow God’s direction for them.

These are very broad and brief descriptions, but you see where this was going. Two divergent worldviews, both of value, could lead to some serious disagreements on the nature of truth.

Today, we have variants of these worldviews. In some people’s eyes, this has become a “science vs. faith” issue. I believe that science and faith are not mutually exclusive and that both have been given to us by our Creator.

Prayer: Lord, as we explore truth, help us to seek with your guidance, as well as the mind you have given us to reason, Amen.

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!

Mark 9:24

Sometimes we make definitive statements which are too black and white. Sometimes, in order to try to understand the world, we break things into “either/or” categories. That often is too simplistic. Life is nuanced, and there are simply areas of life that cannot be broken into such clear categories.

An example I see is in the area of “certainty”. Living in a certain amount of ambiguity is uncomfortable. We want an answer. In our faith journey, we often want simple yes or no, black or white answers. Yet, I think there are plenty of things which do not lend themselves to easy answers.

Having faith does not mean that we have no doubts. I would argue, that without doubt, there is no need for faith. If everything is simply a matter of blind faith, we leave no room for the discomfort of doubt. I believe that our faith can stand the scrutiny of sincere questioning.

In an earlier post, I made this statement relative to prayer: “We all have doubt, I take that as a given. However, it confirms our faith each time we pray. It affirms our faith, however shaky it may be. Faith, even as small as the mustard seed, is shown when we open our mouth to utter His name.”

The principle here is that we act on faith, even if we are not fully on board. No faith is perfect, but whatever faith we do have must be exercised to become real. It is a counseling principle that we “Do, then feel”- meaning, if we do good and right behaviors, we will begin to feel better. We cannot wait to feel better to start acting better.

So, you have doubt, I have doubt. Let’s not let that get in the way of exercising that small faith that we do have. “I believe, help my unbelief”

Prayer: Thank you Father for giving us the mind to have doubt. Thank you for the grace to give us such space. Thank you for the gift of faith and the room for doubt. Amen

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free                                                                              John 8:32

Yesterday I spoke about trauma and its effects on our brain and on our attitudes. I suggested that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to respond to trauma. Perhaps the first healthy step is acceptance of the fact that we experienced trauma. It is natural, after a traumatic event, to want to distance ourself from the event(s).  Some traumatic events, such as being physically violated by another person, may cause the victim to feel shame. Other times, there is denial of the severity or impact of the event in order to protect ourselves from the anxiety of recalling the event.

Awareness of our current emotional state is an important practice to cultivate.  Such self “check-ins” are important for us to do. It keeps us grounded so that we cannot mislabel emotions. As I have noted in other blogs, oftentimes certain negative emotions such as fear, sadness, hurt, resentment, etc. come out looking like anger or irritability. Perhaps because that is more acceptable than showing fear or sadness, or perhaps because that is an emotion that we can more easily access.

Whatever the reason, self-honesty about our current emotional state is a first step in healing.

The truth does set us free.

Prayer: Lord give us the courage to face and accept the emotions we find in our heart, Amen

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way                                                                                                                                                                     James 1:2-3 (The Message)

In the counseling world, and indeed much of the media, trauma and its effects have been getting a great deal of attention in recent years. Of course we recall that after the Vietnam War, PTSD was introduced as the term that diagnostically captures the effects of trauma in soldiers returning from conflict. In earlier wars, terms such as “shell shock” and “combat fatigue” tried to describe the devastation of the horrors of conflict.

Trauma however, is ubiquitous in human life. Every one of us has faced a trauma (and often, many) in our lives. I use that term, because trauma need not be catastrophic to be called “trauma”. Trauma is any event or prolonged stress exposure that makes significant changes in our lives, and even in how our brains work. Yes, it literally changes how we think and perceive.

We must also avoid trying to gauge “how traumatic” an event is in the lives of others. Judging how “your trauma is more significant than my trauma” (or vice versa) is both futile and pointless. If someone has experienced events that they believe are traumatic, then they are traumatic events in their life.

I say all this to recognize that trauma changes our life, and typically imprints sustained memory of the events(s). How we handle that trauma is the key. How do we respond? Do we seek help for it? Do we keep it a dark secret? Do we let it define our life negatively? Do we seek potentially destructive behaviors to try to deal with it?

There are many healthy, and unhealthy, ways to respond to trauma in our life. In future blogs, I will explore some of these responses.

Prayer: Lord, give us wisdom as to how to respond to life events that can so change our world, Amen

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”                                                                                               John 8:32 (NIV)

Often when I see clients, I give them a few gestures to explain the value of expressing thoughts and feelings to others. I put my forefingers up to my forehead, and I make a gesture moving those fingers away from my head forward and outward. While I do this, I say to them, “the healing thing is to get stuff out of here and out to there”. The meaning of course is, those hidden, nagging things that are rolling around in our head can cause confusion and anxiety. We need to validate those bound up things (for the most part) with others, and unburden ourselves from those thoughts that have taken on so much more power than they really should. When those thoughts and feelings hit the light of day and the ears of caring listeners, healing can happen.

Talking to others can free us, as can other expressive outlets like art, music, dance, writing- you name it. Getting it out of our head into the light of the world around us sets us free. So, whatever medium strikes you- and there are many- make sure to express those thoughts and feelings that can bind us.

The truth of expression sets us free. 

Prayer: Thank you Lord for making us relational beings. This allows us to be healers to one another, Amen.

 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.                                                       Matthew 5:13

I am fascinated by chemistry. Had my math strengths been better, it is possible that I might have majored in chemistry in college. However, I realize that while I have an interest in chemistry, at best I could only be considered a chemistry “spectator”, or maybe admirer. I do not think I have the academic rigor to pursue the hard sciences professionally. Call me a science “groupie”.

At any rate, I am fascinated by the chemical elements and compounds. One of them is salt. Common ordinary table salt. There are many types of salts, but the one we are most familiar with is sodium chloride. Salt has been valued for centuries, mostly, in the past, for one thing- its preservative qualities. Before refrigeration, people needed to find ways to preserve precious food supplies, such as fish. In the time of Jesus, salting fish was a common way to preserve them. Another was drying the fish, and still another was smoking the fish. All produced the result of allowing the fish to be kept much longer than in its fresh state.

Through the centuries, salt was sought after and wars were even fought to ensure steady supplies of it. Cities grew up around salt mines, and the word “salary” even derives its meaning from salt, since workers often were paid in allocations of salt. It was that important a product.

In the sermon on the mount, Jesus used the analogy of salt. He told his followers that they were to be the salt of the earth. This meant that they were to be the ones to deliver the message of grace and redemption in order to “preserve” the earth. If they failed to be “salty” they would fail in the mission.

In order to live out the full mission of being “salty” not only are we to preserve the earth with the good news of the gospel, but we also need to display other qualities of salt- making things taste better, and making people thirsty. People will not hear our message of hope if we are not making the world “taste better”- that is, be more of a palatable place to live. If we do not make people thirsty to hear about the hope of the gospel, we will not be effective.

So, consider how you can make the world around you taste a little better. It is only then that we can get a hearing for people to know how grace can be freely given to them.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the creation that you have spoken into existence. Even salt is part of your plan for our benefit, Amen.

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?”

He said “Lord you know all things; you know that I love you.”

 Jesus said “Feed my sheep…”

From John chapter 21

The above passage captures part of Peter’s journey through fear, doubt, rebuke, and healing. Jesus had told Peter that he would be a betrayer when the times got hard, but Peter in his pride and arrogance protested. Alas, as Jesus had predicted, Peter denied Jesus three times before the cock crowed. Peter was devastated and was in need of personal healing from Jesus. He may have known that he was forgiven by Jesus’ death, or maybe not. Such a truth is so overwhelming and earth changing, the disciples perhaps had only a glimmer of this truth at that point. But Peter needed a personal touch from Jesus.

So, at the end of Jesus’ stay on earth, He had some unfinished business with Peter. Jesus took him aside and reminded him of his threefold denial of Jesus with a threefold question of Peter: “Do you truly love me?”

Peter must have known that Jesus was reliving that denial scene at the time of the arrest, and he was troubled that Jesus really would question his love. “Surely you know that I love you Jesus” he said, “You know all things!”

Jesus, in his profound wisdom, knew that Peter needed to own his past sins in a very clear way to know the impact of them. Peter needed to learn about remorse, not just forgiveness. Remorse is contrition driven by seeing the pain of the one offended, not mainly for the remediation of the pain of the offender.

Jesus, when the lesson was sufficiently understood by Peter, offered not just forgiveness, but meaningful restoration.  “Feed my sheep” Jesus said.

So often our guilt separates us from true fellowship with Jesus. Jesus will have none of it, and instead offers us a place of meaning and dignity. He is that kind of Redeemer!

Prayer: Father, thank you for giving us your Son, who not only teaches us forgiveness, but also restoration and dignity. What an amazing gift and plan!  Amen.

I cry out to God; yes, I shout.
    Oh, that God would listen to me!
When I was in deep trouble,
    I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven,
    but my soul was not comforted.
I think of God, and I moan,
    overwhelmed with longing for his help.

Have his promises permanently failed?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
    Has he slammed the door on his compassion?

(Excerpts from Psalm 77)

These excerpts from Psalm 77 are just a window into David’s thinking. He wondered when his depressive thoughts would end. He finally concluded that God had a history of saving his people, so he took some comfort in God’s ultimate provision.

I don’t know if the DSM-5 has come up with a revision to include a diagnosis of “Covid Depression”. They might. Maybe they should. This virus has been in our lives since February 2020, and it has colored everything in our lives. Any issues that my clients may have had prior to this virus and its aftermath have been greatly exacerbated by the current climate. It literally makes everything worse.

Whether or not you were depressed prior to the COVID crisis, I can bet that you carry a low level of depression now. I do. Anytime our standards of stability are upset, we respond with some reaction. We try to regain normal. The presence of COVID has stymied many of those attempts at trying to regain normal. Our response is often a complex brew of sadness, anger, fear, and helplessness. Collectively, that jumble of feelings can be called depression.

Reactive depression is a thing. We all experience it in our lives, and we then must do something about it. Feeling like there is no escape is absolutely the worst place to be, but for a while, that is the case. Then we recognize that we can VISIT that place of depression, but we do not want to LIVE there.   

For me, I recognize the signs in myself. I am a little bit irritable, sad about the fact that our lives continue to be disrupted. I wonder when this oppression will end. How does our economy, or our social interactions, survive? When will COVID stop being a dominant news story? So many questions to which I have no answers.

So, I do what I can do, and I try not to get bogged down by what I cannot do. I can look at my attitude and remind myself of the many blessings I have. I can wear a mask and social distance, as necessary, because I think that is what science recommends. I am vaccinated and boosted. I can do the things that at least approach normal, like eating out at restaurants on their patios, (when possible), testing before any social gatherings, etc. I can continue to exercise and work. I can reach out to others to support them.

So, that is my therapy plan. I assume that you have some COVID Depression like me. What is your therapy plan?

Prayer: Father, you know the big picture that we cannot see. I trust that your plans are good and healing for us, Amen.