If you fall to pieces in a crisis, there wasn’t much to you in the first place.                                     Proverbs 24:10

How many times have we heard this refrain in the past two years? “And then COVID hit…”

So many of my clients had been dealing with relationship problems, employment problems, anxiety, etc., and then COVID hit. The presence of COVID issues became a multiplier for misery. Whatever problems my clients had, now became exponentially worse because of COVID-19.

COVID has literally changed our culture. It exposed existing cultural cleavages in thought and attitude which had been simmering for several years. When the pandemic hit, those long-simmering worldviews, which had been lingering beneath the surface for years, burst forth in anger. One could not easily be angry with a disease, but one could certainly label those who differed in their opinions about the disease, as an enemy.

Thus, COVID became politicized, and that can never be good. Political responses to health problems are often opportunistic ways to capture votes. Our world is now a different place than it was just two years ago. Not just different in the normal way that we grow and change, but different because we see the world differently.

So, post-COVID world is a thing. Crises define and illuminate character. We can embrace the new challenges and find ways to work together for one another, or we can be angry, spiteful, and politically opportunistic.

I suggest that we are all in this together, and that we try not to become tribal and opportunistic. Let’s humbly listen to one another. Divisive issues such as abortion and gun control are opportunities to listen to one another and decide to love one another, no matter our positions.

What do you think?

Prayer: Lord, give us ears to hear and patience to listen well, Amen

So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.                                                                                                                                                John 16:22

I was speaking recently with a client who is going through the grieving process, and I talked with her about my view of grieving. I explained it is like standing at the shore of a large body of water where the tides roll in. In early grief, like those ocean waves, the waves of grief seem to wash over us completely, frequently, and fearsomely. We think that we might drown because we cannot catch our breath.

Then gradually, the waves diminish a bit. They still roll over us, but with a bit less frequency and less intensity. Then later on, the waves still come, but they are even less intense and less frequent. They can still come, and they can still at times wash over us, but this sense of being overwhelmed by them is diminished.

Finally, after some period of time (never try to put a time limit on the grieving process), there will be waves, but now quite infrequently. They may still come, and indeed may surprise us with their intensity at times, but they do not overwhelm us, and we can have some reflective perspective on them.

Grieving is natural and important. It honors those people and even things we have lost that were important to us. Yes, we grieve all losses, and that is what helps to make us human.

The analogy of the waves of grief has been helpful for me, and I hope it is helpful to my readers as well.

Prayer: Lord, we are visited by pain and loss, and we are joined to others in the fellowship of suffering that we all experience. We look to you and others for comfort in those times, Amen

When you give a gift to a beggar, don’t shout about it as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you in all earnestness, they have received all the reward they will ever get.                                    Matthew 6:2

I came across this hierarchy of charity many years ago in graduate school. It is from the writings of the great Medieval Jewish philosopher Moses Maimonides.  I found it fascinating that he was able to define the levels of charity toward others, basing it upon the dignity of the recipient, which reflected directly upon the dignity of the giver.

I hope it blesses you…

There are eight levels of charity, each greater than the next.                                                        [1] The greatest level, above which there is no greater, is to support a fellow Jew by endowing him with a gift or loan, or entering into a partnership with him, or finding employment for him, in order to strengthen his hand so that he will not need to be dependent upon others . . .

[2] A lesser level of charity than this is to give to the poor without knowing to whom one gives, and without the recipient knowing from who he received. For this is performing a mitzvah solely for the sake of Heaven. This is like the “anonymous fund” that was in the Holy Temple [in Jerusalem]. There the righteous gave in secret, and the good poor profited in secret. Giving to a charity fund is similar to this mode of charity, though one should not contribute to a charity fund unless one knows that the person appointed over the fund is trustworthy and wise and a proper administrator, like Rabbi Chananyah ben Teradyon.

[3] A lesser level of charity than this is when one knows to whom one gives, but the recipient does not know his benefactor. The greatest sages used to walk about in secret and put coins in the doors of the poor. It is worthy and truly good to do this, if those who are responsible for distributing charity are not trustworthy.

[4] A lesser level of charity than this is when one does not know to whom one gives, but the poor person does know his benefactor. The greatest sages used to tie coins into their robes and throw them behind their backs, and the poor would come up and pick the coins out of their robes, so that they would not be ashamed.

[5] A lesser level than this is when one gives to the poor person directly into his hand, but gives before being asked.

[6] A lesser level than this is when one gives to the poor person after being asked.

[7] A lesser level than this is when one gives inadequately, but gives gladly and with a smile.

[8] A lesser level than this is when one gives unwillingly.

(Credit to Chabad.org)

 He called, “Any fish, boys?”

“No,” we replied.

 Then he said, “Throw out your net on the right-hand side of the boat, and you’ll get plenty of them!” So we did, and couldn’t draw in the net because of the weight of the fish, there were so many!

John 21:5-7 (Living Bible)

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”                                               John Wooden                                                                                                                                                            

I was talking with a friend the other day about grace. Specifically, we talked about grace that is invisible to us until we are enabled to see it. I suggested that the key to have the lens to see such grace is humility.

We were talking about the incident when Jesus told Peter, (after Peter and others had spent a whole night of fruitless fishing), to cast his net on the other side of the boat. Peter, a fisherman by profession, must have been taken aback when this itinerant preacher and part-time carpenter, gave him fishing advice.

Peter did as Jesus suggested, and he came up with the biggest haul of his life. He received the grace of a bounty of fish that had heretofore been hidden from him. Peter’s decision to accede to the directions of a non-fisherman took some humility. This came from Peter’s trust of Jesus, as well as perhaps a sense of “Well, I’ve got nothing to lose” thinking. Who knows?

I do suggest that it took humility on Peter’s part to cast that net where Jesus said to. Humility is the mindset- “There are things people can teach me. I don’t have all the answers.”

Teachable people are humble people. They are successful ones too.

Prayer: Thank you for the hidden graces that await us as we trust in you, Amen.

 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.     Philippians 2:3-4

I first became aware of Buck O’Neil when I watched the marvelous Ken Burns series on PBS about the grand game of baseball. Buck O’Neil was a Negro League player and manager, and he became the first African-American coach in Major League Baseball in the 1960’s with the Chicago Cubs.

He should have been inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2006 with other Negro League greats, but instead, he gave a powerful speech about the inductees without any reference to his own snub. Buck O’Neil was able to celebrate the success of others with grace and joy.

He had his own credentials for induction, and finally received that honor this year. It is very sad to me when people do not get to experience the joy of being rightly honored in their lifetime. How might he have felt if he had been able to stand at the dais and make the acceptance speech for his own induction?

Yet, he loved the opportunity to see those whom he helped to prosper. He helped to establish the Negro League Hall of Fame in Kansas City, a shrine I intend to visit this summer.

Buck O’Neil, a victim of Jim Crow racism found a way to overcome hatred with love of others. I think he embodies Paul’s words in Philippians above. Buck O’Neil loved his God and fellow man. That is the best tribute one can have.

We love you Buck O’Neil!

Highlight, then click on this link below to see the great speech and warm embrace he gave to the crowd in 2006…

 The Greatest Thing – YouTube

“‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…

Matthew 6:9-10

This is, of course, a passage which has given us the most well-known prayer on earth- The Lord’s Prayer. We learn it as children, and we retain it our entire lives. It is, in fact, so ingrained in us, recited in a rote manner, that we may miss the richness of the prayer.

The sentence, “your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” sounds like a nice pleasantry that can become a bit of a catchphrase. Actually, it is the hardest thing we are called to do. We are actually being called to bring a bit of heaven down to earth by the actions we choose to do. Jesus was the embodiment of “heaven to earth”, and we are called to live that legacy out by making earth look a bit more like heaven.

Yes, we have a very long way to go on that, and no, we will never accomplish it in our tenure here. However, we have been called to not simply wait for the day we can go to heaven and all will be peace and joy. We are called to bring a measure of heaven’s peace and joy to earth. We do that by loving other people, encouraging them, helping them, grieving with them, and all other human connections that aid one another on this life’s journey.

So, the next time you recite the Lord’s Prayer, remember that he always intended for us to make earth a bit more like heaven.

Prayer: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…

After great pain, a formal feeling comes –

The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –

The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’

And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’?                                                                                                     Emily Dickinson

“God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,
    for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted                                                                            Matthew 5:3-4

I am really not into poetry. I do not understand it well, and I prefer prose as my expressive medium. Yet that first stanza of Emily Dickinson’s classic poem has always stayed with me. I remember some times after physical pain that, when the pain subsided, there was a feeling that I could not, and still really cannot, describe. It was like feeling relief, but more than that, it was the sense of feeling nothing.

This I believe, in a way, is how we react to certain traumatic events. That pause, that reprieve, allows us to shove the pain far away in our minds. We do not want to revisit it, so we file it away and try to convince ourselves that it may not have happened.

We see this in trauma work regularly. Dickinson’s line – And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’? calls to mind a sense of timelessness. Time gets lost after trauma, at least for a while, while the mind tries to heal.

I began thinking of this as we encounter our various world crises. The COVID-19 scourge, for example, stubbornly refuses to leave us. It was, indeed, clearly a life-shaping event, and it is also one we share with the whole world. When this crisis finally subsides- and it will- how will we make sense of it?

Will we, as the world has collectively done after some crises, somehow forget the enormity of it as it fades into the background and as other crises arise?

I trust that after this crisis gradually fades, we will have learned some very important lessons about our collective responsibility for one another. I hope that we will be better prepared for another worldwide pandemic, when one inevitably arises again.

Life will again be “normal”, but in our quest for normal, I hope that we will have learned from the past, and that we put into place safeguards for the future.

Prayer: Lord help us to learn from the pain we are enduring, to redeem it for good for future generations, Amen.

“What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows                                                                        Luke 12:6-7

I considered several different topics for today’s blog, and I ended up, for one reason or another, rejecting them. After I had written them, they just did not seem to hit the mark. That happens sometimes, right? So, I decided to just look up the verse of the day on my Bible app, and it was Luke 12:6-7. You can’t go wrong with good old Luke, probably my favorite Gospel writer. Luke gives such a good summation of Jesus’ teachings.

 In this passage, the comfort that is expressed is so clearly obvious, yet easy to pass over sometimes. Jesus asserts that God does not forget a single sparrow. Not one! Then he states that God has numbered the very hairs on our head. (Admittedly, easier for God to do with some of us, but I digress.) He cares so much about our needs and welfare that he knows us that intimately.

We need this reminder from time to time when things around us are so altered and abnormal. Many of the landmarks that we previously used to navigate our regular routines and plans have been changed, or altered by the pandemic, political unrest, or cultural changes we cannot readily accept.

Maybe some of those landmarks were inadequate to begin with. Perhaps this is the time to rethink what those landmarks should be. Holding on to the truths that Jesus taught are good ways to feel the sense of direction that we need. Just the basics- God loves us and values us, even in the midst of the chaos we may be experiencing.

This disruption can serve as a way to find new navigation tools that really work. If we feel secure in the understanding of the most basic truths of God’s love for us, we can ultimately make sense of our changed environment and be better for it in the long run.

Prayer: Father, thank you for the simple truths which provide such comfort to us, Amen.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, …                                                                Ecclesiastes 3

As I sit on my patio writing this blog, I am soaking in the beauty of summer. The pond is clear and babbling with a gentle waterfall. My resident frogs hop warily on the lily pads, waiting for evening dinners of moths and any other unlucky critters that fly near the lights. Flowers surround the pond and the trees in the background sway gently in a warm evening breeze.

Then I think about the brevity of summer. Yes, this is wonderful, but it will pass all too soon. Indeed, our lives will be passing as well. Such is the circle of life.

I recall a breakfast many years ago with my mentor who was twenty years my senior. At one point he said, “You know, I have about four hundred or five hundred more Saturdays left, maybe less.”

This took me aback as he said it so dispassionately and matter-of-factly. He had calculated that maybe he had 8, or maybe 10 years left in his life. He had decided to treasure each of those Saturdays. It was not a morbid thought for him and he did not intend it to be for me. He was simply acknowledging that his time was growing relatively short.

Seasons come and go, and the older we get, the faster they go. Actually, there is a scientific reason that time does seem to go faster as we age, but that is a blog for another time.

The point is, we are subject to changing seasons. I love summer, and my family would attest to the fact that it is very hard to keep me indoors during the Spring and Summer (Autumn as well for that matter!) I have decided to soak in as much as each season has to offer. Enjoying each season as it comes helps us to live in the moment and not rue the passage of time.

So, enjoy this wonderful season. Soak in the beauty of flowers, long evenings, and all the Vitamin D that the sun has to offer!

Prayer: Lord, you have made this earth a scientific marvel of change and beauty!

 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds. ”Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.                                                                            James 2:18

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. …                                               Matthew 5:13-16

The early church made itself known by two things- how they loved one another, and how they loved the culture they were in. Christians often picked up abandoned infants who had been left by parents to die on the street. Infanticide was not completely frowned upon by the Roman culture. Christians showed their love by rescuing these abandoned infants.

As decades and centuries passed, Christians showed their love of the culture by establishing institutions for the most desperate and marginalized parts of society. Schools, hospitals, “poor houses”, and inns for weary travelers were established in the name of Christ. Indeed, the early church was distinguished by the fact that wherever Christian communities were established, they made that community better for them having been there.

Christians have a rich legacy in the world for having established civilizing institutions, based upon their understanding that love is best expressed in actions, not mere belief. Many of those institutions survive today. So many schools, hospitals, and relief organizations have their origins in Christian benevolence.

Yet today, many people do not see this legacy. They take for granted the works of generations past. Why? Because often times, in the current world, the Church is no longer acting like the Church.  People often see the Church, and Christians, as judgmental critics of current world events.

This space is too small to develop this theme like it should be discussed. In future blogs, I will be discussing this a bit more. My incredible daughter has also talked with me about us both addressing this issue further by jointly writing about it. We are considering this idea, so stay tuned!

Prayer: Lord, give us the wisdom and courage to be able to love those around us well, Amen