To thine own self be true… Act I scene 3, Hamlet William Shakespeare
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24
An issue that can capture us without us even being aware of it, is worry about things over which we have no control. We all fall into this trap at times, and it takes some “thought capturing” to address it.
I have clients who talk about how other people may judge them for presentations they have given, or statements they have made. They wonder if they “came across as genuine” or were they being seen as “trying to curry the favor of the boss”.
Now, I think it is natural to wonder about how other people see us. We are, after all, social beings, and we want to be thought of as good, or competent, or caring people- whatever traits in human beings that we ourselves value.
When we think about this though, what is the only thing we can control? We can only control our own actions and behaviors. We cannot control how others perceive us, no matter how hard we try. Yes, people often spend a great deal of time and energy into self “marketing”. Image control is a huge industry. Companies and celebrities spend a lot of money trying to establish a “brand” and an image that is favorable to the public. In the end however, we can only be free by recognizing that we have been honest to ourselves, and we have been honest with others.
If people misinterpret, deliberately or otherwise about who we are, we cannot change that. It may indeed be hurtful when we are judged, but when we realize that we have been true to ourselves, and spoken the truth as best we can, we can be free of doing the impossible- believing that we are responsible for the outcome of other people’s perceptions of us.
Prayer: Lord, test my heart, and make me what you would have me to be, Amen
Reflections of a Counselor 