What is Counseling?

“the goal of counseling is not happiness, it is responsibility…”                                                                             William Glasser

I recently had a client ask me what he can expect from the counseling process. “What is the goal of it?” he asks. A good question indeed. Of course, each person will come into counseling with their own ideas of that. Some simply seek support and encouragement. Some would like direction. Both are reasonable goals, and indeed there are a host of other reasons why people seek counseling.

I answered this client that my belief is that the general goal of counseling is responsibility. As William Glasser stated years ago, “the goal of counseling is not happiness, it is responsibility”. I went on to explain that taking responsibility for one’s own inner thoughts, and owning our own strengths and weaknesses, is one of the goals. Honest self-awareness is critical to having peace. We need to look at ourselves and recognize that we have choices, and that we can only control our own choices- not the choices and actions of others. We can only control our own behavior, not that of those around us.

If we can accept that level of responsibility, we will feel more comfortable in our own skin. We will become less anxious about outcomes, and more at peace with our own actions. We are also then less likely to blame others for our own failures and mistakes.

Yes, there is a good deal more to the counseling process, including honest feedback, real affirmation, providing tools for anxiety control, referrals for medication as needed, and recognition of possible medical and neurological complications in mental health problems.

However, I wanted to share today one simple answer to the complex question of “what is counseling?”

Hope this helps!