Perfect!

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts

Isaiah 55:8-9

I was recently talking with a client who was struggling with trying to be perfect. Yes, we know that we are not and cannot be perfect, but when you have anxiety, there is like an inner voice that says that somehow, we should be perfect, or close to it. No, it does not make sense, but then, anxiety at its root is not rational.

We all know that we can have fear because of a clear and present threat, but that is more a situational response to a threat or possible threat. That is rational. Anxiety on the other hand is more about unrealistic or irrational threats- ones that are unlikely, or impossible to measure.

This client has felt often that she should be able to avoid all temptations and thoughts that can be harmful. That somehow, if she fails, God will be angry with her. She has a transactional view of God. That is, “if I do good things, God is happy with me, and if I fail, God is disappointed with me.” We talked about wrestling in our mind with God’s view of us. We had a good discussion about God’s infinite love for us- love that is not totally comprehensible to the human mind.

Finally, we talked about the book of Ecclesiastes in which the writer struggles with the “vanity of life” and how one can reconcile the meaning of this life. I pointed out to her that the Hebrew writer of Ecclesiastes (attributed to Solomon, but likely a collection of ancient scribes and scholars), showed a style common to the ancient Hebrews. They argued with God out of honesty  and integrity. They did not mind talking to God about what their hopes and fears were. They challenged God when they thought that the world he created was not fair.  

I recall how the character Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof argued with God, trying to see how this world made sense. Tevya’s laments were both comical and full of sincerity as well as posing deep theological questions that could not be answered. In the end, Tevya accepted that God was God, and Tevya was not. Along the way, Tevya had deepened his relationship with God.

Knowing God’s ways and knowing our ways is wrestling with God. As we do that, we get to know God better, and we get to know ourselves better.

Prayer: Lord, we trust that your ways are good, even when we do not understand them, Amen