Rationalizing

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.    James 1:19-20

I was speaking with a client the other day about his anger responses, which have been a problem for him for many years. Often when people are angry, they have had a sense that somehow,  justice was violated, or they feel that they have been denied something that they deserve to have. We can all think of times that we became angry when our personal sense of justice has been violated.

Perhaps we feel that we have been deprived of something that we deserved to have, something even as small as a few spaces up on the highway when another driver cuts us off (in our opinion). I am not saying that such things aren’t annoying and upsetting at times- they are. But such feelings can also trigger in us a sense of entitlement which may or may not be real. It may simply be our rationalization for higher levels of anger.

We don’t like to think that we are “entitled people”. Yet at times, we act exactly that way as a rationalization to engage in gratifying behaviors that give us some momentary pleasure or relief.

When I discussed this with my client, he paused, and agreed that this was likely true for him and it had gotten him into trouble in the past.

We can rationalize so many things in our mind, often without really thinking about it. We can give ourselves reasons for behaviors that are not healthy for us, or those around us. As I said to my client, we all have capacity to do things that we are not happy with ourselves about. Owning them, and looking at ourselves in fearless honesty is a great remedy for change.

Indeed, the truth sets us free!

Prayer: Lord, give us the courage to look into ourselves and see the places that we fail, Amen