Truth in Love

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ                                                                                  Ephesians 4:15

I had occasion to recently talk with a client about her codependent tendencies. In short, she admitted that she often does not tell the truth to her husband about how she really feels because she does not want to upset him and start an argument. While one can argue that this can indeed be a virtue at times, often it simply is the virtue to an extreme. In actuality, the truth sets us free.

The apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians to “speak the truth in love”. This client has been reluctant to speak the truth of her feelings to shield a husband who may not be able to grow without that truth. I suggested to her that it is not her responsibility to convince him of the truth (of his likely alcohol abuse), but she is responsible to deliver that truth in a loving way.

In other words, she can speak her truth of the pain she feels in this situation, and the truth that his alcohol use is killing him. She is not responsible for convincing him of that truth. That is the Holy Spirit’s job. In fact, the Holy Spirit will do that in the right timing, and the right way, but her husband may or may not be responsive to that. Either way, she has done her job, and she can have peace with that.

We are wired to want to convince others of our viewpoint. We believe in it, and we ourselves are convinced of it. Letting go of the need to convince others is so very hard.

But that truth sets us free.

 Prayer: Lord, help us to speak truth in a loving way, and let your Spirit do the convincing, Amen