Projections

for it was through reading the Scripture that I came to realize that I could never find God’s favor by trying—and failing—to obey the laws. I came to realize that acceptance with God comes by believing in Christ.                                                                                            Galatians 2:9 (Living Bible)

I was speaking with a client recently about her projections. Projection is a funny thing. It is the psychological defense whereby one projects onto other people undesirable traits of their own on to other people in order to protect themselves psychologically.

But it also works in another way. Sometimes, people who are anxious and perfectionistic, project onto others the assumption that others must see them the same way they see themselves- flawed and imperfect. Indeed, this can become so pervasive and intense, that the person who is projecting is convinced that others must see them in this flawed way because they cannot see themselves any other way.

When I explained this to my client, she saw the truth of that for her. Her own driven nature to be perfect ends up in her perceived failure to measure up. She then feels that others must surely see this too. The intensity of her feeling, fueled by anxiety, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy- others often see her as anxious.

Being able to process this, and assured that this is not uncommon, the client felt some relief. As I say to my clients, “You have to get it out of here (your head) and out to here (expressing to safe others).”

So often, people have internal thoughts that they believe are “crazy”, or that “no one else ever thinks the way that I do”. Mostly, we all have some quirky beliefs and ideas that are common to most people. Expressing such things with “safe others” is a fine remedy.   

Prayer: Lord, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. What a plan you have for us, Amen