May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, LORD, my rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
I was talking with a couple the other day and we discussed the ways that communication can become troublesome. For them, as with many couples, arguments can escalate when the communication goes too fast. What do I mean by that? In the heat of discussion, which can escalate into argument, partners can get defensive rather quickly if they are feeling attacked. They may also feel defensive if a simmering resentment gets triggered by a careless comment.
In such cases, instant communication can cause instant problems. The communication process needs to slow down- perhaps with a timeout, or maybe with a decision to write out how they are feeling, instead of trying to say what they mean without proper reflection. In the heat of the moment sometimes, words are said that do not accurately reflect what is meant to be conveyed.
I suggest that they “slow the train down” by pausing, taking a little break, and agreeing to write out their feelings to the other. This process can give time for better, more cognitive responses, not highly emotional ones.
In some ways, social media has also contributed to the “instant communication, instant problem” dynamic. Quick responses to social media bait can cause all kinds of problems, including anger, hurt, and a response that stays on the internet forever.
If we slow the train down in communication, it can save us a lot of headaches.
Prayer: Lord, let our words be thoughtful and considered, Amen
Reflections of a Counselor 