As I was tending to my pond de-icer the other day, I began to think about all that goes into taking care of my pond and the surrounding garden in my back yard. Nearby are several bird feeders, which feed dozens (or maybe hundreds) of finches, wrens, cardinals, sparrows, mourning doves, and several other species. Those bird feeders also inadvertently feed squirrels who may raid the feeders if I am not careful, or who may simply graze on the dropped seeds of the aforementioned birds.

My pond is home to a fish of some standing (he/she is over 10 years old) and it dominates the pond. But that fish must share the pond with up to five frogs each year, as well as snails, and the occasional garter snake or three. Of course, there is a variety of plant life in the pond also, so we have a little biosystem there in the back yard.

All this to say that the word “husband” came to mind. Husband is a word used for someone who takes care of the land. Husband is also the name I carry as the husband of my wife, Deb. I have been her husband for over 50 years now, and the term husband is one that I like.

Webster defines husband as “a married man considered in relation to his wife”. The other meaning is more general. That one says “one who uses resources wisely, economically”. Similar words used to describe husband are: conserve, preserve, save, safeguard, etc.”

I love the idea of being one who safeguards and protects those things entrusted to him. I am merely the steward of those things I have around me, and I am blessed by them. Of course, I am especially blessed to be the husband of my wife, Deb. What an honor to be given the name husband.

So, husbands, love your wives, and take care of all that is entrusted to you. It is a privilege.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the opportunity to be a husband, Amen

My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.                            I John 3:18-20 (The Message)

I spoke with a client recently about her anxiety regarding how others may perceive her. She is a very bright, insightful person, but she is beset by self-doubts at times, and she worries about what people may think of her.

Of course, everyone wrestles with acceptance to some degree. All of us want others to affirm and appreciate us- it is part of human nature, and indeed is important for social functioning. We need to fit, in some ways, into our surroundings and to find an accepting social circle. This is even a survival mechanism built into us. We need some acceptance into a “tribe”.

The problem comes when we overthink that, and we begin to take on what other people “must think of me”. We may begin to build up our own narrative of what others think of us and then we act accordingly.

There are, of course, problems with this. One is, that particular way of thinking seems to put us into the “mind reading business”. I suggested to my client that it is actually disrespectful to assume what others will likely think of us. We may really sell them short of what they are capable of. Also, our thoughts are often just projections of our own thinking. Other people do not necessarily think the way that we do.

Finally, because we are anxious, we “fill in the blank” of what others may think of us with the worst-case scenario.

So, while we are tempted to project our thoughts onto others, the discipline is to remember that we cannot control what others think. We just have the illusion that we can have that control of others by acting in certain ways.

We just need to be real and be who we are. That is good enough.

Prayer: Lord, help us to accept ourselves like you accept us, Amen

The serpent told the Woman, “You won’t die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you’ll see what’s really going on. You’ll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil.”                                                                                                                                                                   Genesis 3:4-5 (The Message)

I have been of the opinion for some time that there is really only one sin- pride. You know, that sin that got Adam and Eve kicked out of the Garden. I define pride roughly as “He is God, I’m not, and I’m mad about it!”

What do I mean by that? Well, Satan tempted the Garden dwellers to “become like God”. We all “want what we want when we want it”, and unless we have developed a sense of discipline, of humility, and patience, that attitude will get us into big trouble. We tend to have a sense of entitlement to things that we want, or maybe even think we deserve.

All other sins derive from that attitude of self-serving and entitlement that pride entails. Envy, stealing, lying, adultery, murder etc. all stem from a sense of “entitlement to my own way”, often at any cost or, sadly, the cost of others.

So, let’s keep it simple. One sin that can be played out in many ways- pride.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see pride for what it is- the desire to be our own god, Amen

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.                                                                                                                                                             Psalm 19:14

I was talking with a couple the other day and we discussed the ways that communication can become troublesome. For them, as with many couples, arguments can escalate when the communication goes too fast. What do I mean by that? In the heat of discussion, which can escalate into argument, partners can get defensive rather quickly if they are feeling attacked. They may also feel defensive if a simmering resentment gets triggered by a careless comment.

In such cases, instant communication can cause instant problems.  The communication process needs to slow down- perhaps with a timeout, or maybe with a decision to write out how they are feeling, instead of trying to say what they mean without proper reflection. In the heat of the moment sometimes, words are said that do not accurately reflect what is meant to be conveyed.

I suggest that they “slow the train down” by pausing, taking a little break, and agreeing to write out their feelings to the other. This process can give time for better, more cognitive responses, not highly emotional ones.  

In some ways, social media has also contributed to the “instant communication, instant problem” dynamic. Quick responses to social media bait can cause all kinds of problems, including anger, hurt, and a response that stays on the internet forever.

If we slow the train down in communication, it can save us a lot of headaches.

Prayer: Lord, let our words be thoughtful and considered, Amen

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.        Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

I often start my counseling sessions with this question: “What was the best thing that happened for you in the past week?” If it had been longer than that since I saw the client, it would be “in the last two weeks”, or the “last month”, etc.

The point here is that I want to start off with some positives in their life. They are already coming to counseling because some things in their life are not going the way that they would like or like they would have imagined. Therefore, I want to start out with a positive or two.

By asking that question, I can also affirm what work they have accomplished, maybe with the homework I gave. I always give homework. You know, the work that will be of lasting help does not come in my office, it comes from using tools we discussed and behaving in different ways with their personal disciplines, or in their relationships with others.  

We can then discuss current concerns or problems that they want to bring forward in counseling. Which brings me to a frequent second question: “What is the best thing we should talk about today?”

I want the client to own the content of the session, so they bring forth the topics. I will, however, ask them how the homework went. Accountability is important for both client and counselor. They are accountable for doing the work we discussed, and I am accountable for having reviewed their file and refreshing my understanding of their goals and progress.

Just a little picture today of my process of counseling. Hope this is encouraging for you as well!

Prayer: Lord, help us to keep positive thoughts in our day, Amen

And so, dear brothers, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living sacrifice, holy—the kind he can accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask?  Romans 12:1 (Living Bible)

Today is February 22^nd. Almost everybody remembers it as the birthday of a celebrated hero. I remember it as the birthday of two heroes, both born on February 22, but separated by 179 years. That other hero was my mother, born February 22, 1911. Both of these heroes freely sacrificed for others, and both endured hardships in those acts of service. George Washington has been celebrated worldwide, especially of course in America.

My mother, on the other hand, lived a quiet life, bearing four children, and grieving the loss of a miscarriage. She did not come from wealth, and she had to work early in life, even working days and going to “night school” to complete her high school diploma. My dad owned a bakery in the Clifton Heights area of Cincinnati (near UC and where he grew up), and mom worked in the bakery with him to help make the business survive.  

Mom had a deep faith, and she made sure that her kids did too. We all knew the expectations that mom had for us, and we had better (and we did) live up to them. There was no question about those expectations- regular attendance at Mass, Catholic education through college, good grades, hard work, and regular disciplines to maintain physical and spiritual health.

Mom took in her mother after grandma suffered a debilitating stroke in 1959, and mom cared for her until grandma died, in our house, in 1967.  Mom did not complain, nor did she let others know of all the sacrifices she made for her family. Mom’s selfless lifestyle was visible, but not expressed to others by her very much.

She lived a quiet, but powerful life- one that honored her God and her family. She is one of the heroes born on February 22, and now you know about the hero less celebrated, but the one more beloved.

Prayer: Lord thank you for the sacrifice of those who lay down their lives in the service of others, Amen.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Out of the genius of Benjamin Franklin came the concept of the lightning rod. It is counterintuitive really since the object of the lightning rod is to get struck! As we know, the lightning rod absorbs the massive energy from a lightning bolt and thereby saves the building, on which it is perched, from harm. The lightning rod directs that massive energy to a safe place- the ground. The lightning rod is not harmed, usually, because it is an efficient channel to move the electricity to where it will cause no harm.

I was speaking with a couple the other day, and we discussed her role (unwanted) of being a lightning rod for her husband’s anger. While she is effective at deflecting his random energy into a safe place, and thereby allowing him to feel some relief, both needed to discuss this with another lightning rod- me.

I was not affected by their storm of energy and hurt, and therefore I was a safe place to absorb all that energy. I did not take it personally, and I was not hurt at all.

Jesus was a lightning rod of sorts too. He willingly accepted the wrath of those around him who did not understand him. Many believed that he was a threat to the current order and system of worship. He was. Jesus attracted such pent up energy because people saw that he was different, and therefore, a threat.

Jesus absorbed our sins and dissipated the harm that would come from them. He directed that energy into healing and salvation for humankind. His body paid the ultimate price for that, but he arose from death and emerged as an on-going source of peace to those afflicted with hurt and pain.

Maybe you as a reader sometimes feel like a lightning rod for those around you. Consider how that affects you, and how you function in that role. Sometimes it helps to see that lightning rods can be of great use, as long as we understand the process and our role in it.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see our role in turning pain into peace, Amen

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus                                                                                                                                   Galatians 3:28

Hellenism– A way to understand the world through the use of human reason and intellect

Hebraism – A way to understand the world through that which we cannot explain- mysticism

Each of these viewpoints can take the same phenomenon and explain its cause in a different way.

The great poet, professor, and cultural critic Matthew Arnold wrote an essay titled Hellenism vs. Hebraism in his book Culture and Anarchy (1869). I remember reading the essay in college, and it struck me as an intriguing way to see the world. I suppose my professor would be pleased that one of his assignments stuck with me for over 50 years! 

Arnold explained that there are two world views which dominate our understanding of the world. While this model is somewhat simplistic, I think it helps us to see how our thinking is shaped. The Hellenistic view was inspired by the civilizing Greek culture of antiquity. They emphasized a way to understand the world through the lens of human reason and intellect.

The Hebraic world view allowed for a more mystical way to understand the world- that not all phenomena can be explained simply through reason and logic. Of course, the Hebraic view was that of a Jewish culture that was heavily reliant on a spiritual understanding of life. God was the spirit that animated the world, and that is how we can understand things, even if those things are not explainable through empirical explanation.

Of course, both views have merit, and both need one another to have a fuller understanding of the world. There is a need, especially these days, to embrace world views that are not typically how we may see things. Depending upon where one stands, and the lenses through which we see things, we may have only a partial understanding of a situation. Embracing the possibility of another viewpoint is critical to deeper understanding.

Science alone cannot explain the world. Theology alone cannot explain natural phenomena. Together, we begin to see a more complete picture.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us resources to better understand the world and the Creation you formed, Amen

 My brothers and sisters, do not assault each other with criticism. If you decide your job is to accuse and judge another believer, then you are a self-appointed critic and judge of the law; if so, then you are no longer a doer of the law and subject to its rule; you stand over it as a judge.  Know this, there is One who stands supreme as Judge and Lawgiver. He alone is able to save and to destroy, so who are you to step in and try to judge ?                               James 4:11-12

This passage talks about the many ways that arrogance can rear its ugly head in our thought processes. James uses several examples to let the saints know that they have no right to judge a brother or sister. Often, the Law was used as a way for the “righteous” to determine how others failed in keeping the law perfectly.

James also told the brethren that they were not to slander one another. Slander is defined as: “the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation”. While this is the somewhat narrow definition of the word, I believe that James is not defining slander that narrowly. Rather, I believe that he extends the meaning to “don’t spread gossip about your brother or sister which may bring them harm- you have no right to do so”. The strictest sense of slander is “spreading a falsehood”. I would contend that James would include it wrong to be “spreading any word about another, true or not, which can bring them harm or diminish their character”.

The higher law he invokes is the law of love. The law of love encourages us to build one another up, and to help one another avoid occasions of sin.

James also takes people to task for presuming upon tomorrow. We cannot assume that we will get tomorrow. While we need to plan as if there WILL be a tomorrow for us, it is to be done in the attitude of holding it loosely, knowing that in a moment, God can call us home. So we talk and act in the manner that says, if God gives me tomorrow, it will be His, for His good and for His plans.

Prayer: Father, thank you for your Law of Love, which covers our sins completely. Help us to defend our brothers and sisters by guarding our thoughts and our tongues, Amen.

To understand the life of Jesus, I must first give you some background history, events that occurred when Herod ruled Judea for the Roman Empire. Zacharias was serving as a priest in the temple in Jerusalem those days as his fathers had before him. He was a member of the priestly division of Abijah (a grandson of Aaron who innovated temple practices), and his wife, Elizabeth, was of the priestly lineage of Aaron, Moses’ brother.                                      Luke 1:5 (The Voice Translation)

You, my dear readers, know my love of history. In Luke’s gospel he found it important to give some historical context so that his readers may better know Jesus. I think national histories are also understood better in true context. Today I look at how knowledge of history can influence our future.

In a sequel to his best-selling book the Tipping Point, author Malcolm Gladwell discusses the Jewish Holocaust, among other topics. His latest book, Revenge of the Tipping Point, states that the 1978 NBC miniseries, (Holocaust), became a tipping point for renewed discussion of the Holocaust’s horrors.

Many of us remember that miniseries and its impact. More Holocaust museums opened after that series than ever before. More significantly, the series, when aired in West Germany, sparked a renewed interest in exploration of the dreaded atrocities of the era. Many young Germans saw for the first time a lengthy discussion of the Holocaust and its devastation.  

We tend to set aside many painful historical facts and we replace them with cultural myths. Take for example our own history of Thanksgiving, which has turned into a heartwarming story of Pilgrims and Indians sharing a feast around a large table. The real story was not quite so simple or serene, but cultural myths catch our attention and tend to color or even replace actual historical facts.

We all like a narrative to explain our past. Civilization is replete with such stories, and some of our great literature is based around origin stories and comfortable narratives. A courageous dive into history is important in order to clarify facts. Every nation has bold sagas and uplifting stories of its heritage, and people groups are naturally proud of their origin stories. However, an objective look at history is necessary to gain perspective and guidance for the future.  

We always need to remember that our proud history in the United States is also filled with horror stories from those nations and peoples that we shoved aside or even devastated in our collective belief in Manifest Destiny. Good histories delve into all aspects of history- some of which we love, and some of which we overlook.

So, actual love of country entails an objective look at its history in order to improve its future.

Indeed, the truth of our origins sets us free to make a better future.

Prayer: Lord, give us the courage to look honestly at our history in order to protect the future, Amen