What is Underneath?

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works…                                                                                   Psalm 139:14

I recently had the opportunity to speak with a client who is dealing with a dying relative. The relative has a degenerative brain disease, and she now has very little short-term memory. Therefore, she is constantly contacting my client, asking the same questions over and over several times per day. It is, of course, very wearing on my client, and he has become irritable to those around him. He is depressed and unmotivated, but clearly angry in general.

As we discussed this, I pointed out that he was likely experiencing anticipatory grief. He is already grieving the loss of his loved one. He knows that her illness is terminal, and he feels sad and frustrated. Indeed, sadness often comes out like anger and irritability in such situations.

Just being heard and supported can be helpful for this client, but also, the explanation of his situation being anticipatory grief helps give a label to the pain he is experiencing. It is not uncommon, of course, for feelings to come out in unintended ways. Sometimes fear or sadness comes out looking like anger or irritability.

We are complex beings, and God has designed us so marvelously. We struggle with human emotions, and sometimes we simply do not understand them. Just having another person experience those feelings with us can be healing in and of itself.

Prayer: Lord, be with those who are suffering an expected loss, Amen