Behavior and Character

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, Philippians 2:3

I was recently talking with a client who struggles with feeling lovable. This has been a long-standing issue with her, and it was complicated by a traumatic sexual assault many years ago. She still struggles with her self-acceptance, and she has trouble seeing herself as a person of value. She felt unlovable.

She is, of course, a person of great value and worth. I pointed out to her one of the characteristics of her value in this way. She has a great desire to serve others and to give them joy. She works in various volunteer activities, and she serves home-cooked meals to families who are food insufficient. I pointed out that she performs behaviors of service, which are really good things. But beyond that, she has the desire to give others joy. That is character.

Doing good things for people is good behavior. Wanting to do good things for others is good character. I pointed out to her that she has good character, not just benevolent behaviors. She gradually saw that these are characteristics of a good and valuable person- one who is indeed lovable.

Many people struggle with feeling lovable and of value. We are of value because we are made in the image of our Creator. We display character when we desire to serve others in order for them to have joy and a sense of being loved.

Prayer: Lord, help us to love others as you us, Amen