Self-Forgiveness

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”                                            John 8:32

I had a situation with a client some time ago where he presented for treatment because he was frequently angry. His wife had asked him to seek help and he complied. He too understood that anger was becoming an increasingly large part of his life, and he did not like it either.

We explored his background, and it became evident to me that much of his anger was directed at himself. He typically blamed his anger on the actions of “stupid people”. The more we discussed this, he began to see that he indeed was angry at himself for some decisions he had made earlier in life that had altered his career course. When he was flashing anger at “stupid people” he may have unwittingly been reflecting on his own poor decisions. His reactions vented his anger, but it did not get to the root of his need to look at his own self-anger, and then, having accepted that, to forgive himself for the decisions that eventually harmed him.

This is a process, and I have great admiration for this client for doing the hard work of self-reflection and self-honesty. We all have blind spots, and typically we have some level of anger at ourselves that is not always at the surface. An honest look at ourselves can be very freeing as we own some things about ourselves that we do not like.

Such an internal look is freeing. Knowing that we are forgiven by God may also help us to forgive ourselves.

Prayer: Lord, help us to look at and understand our own heart, Amen