A right time for birth and another for death, A right time to plant and another to reap, A right time to kill and another to heal, A right time to destroy and another to construct, A right time to cry and another to laugh, A right time to lament and another to cheer, A right time to make love and another to abstain, A right time to embrace and another to part, A right time to search and another to count your losses, A right time to hold on and another to let go, A right time to rip out and another to mend, A right time to shut up and another to speak up, A right time to love and another to hate, A right time to wage war and another to make peace. Ecclesiastes 3:2-8 (The Message)
I spoke with a client recently who has experienced a series of losses in the past couple of years. She has lost both parents, and now she is experiencing “empty nest” with her kids moving out of the house for college and careers.
I talked with her about grieving losses, and not just death, but any type of loss. As she is getting through the grieving, I talked with her about those losses, and the need to start looking at adding some things in her life. The losses are real and painful, and we must acknowledge them. At the same time, we need to start, at some point, looking for things to add into our life. These additions are not “replacements.” They are attempts to grow into a new season.
I talked with her about looking into some learning opportunities as well as some safe outreaches into new social settings. The challenge is to look for some new things to stimulate us. We are made to be curious and we look for stimulation. When we have a loss, there needs to be a new infilling- a healthy addition into our lives.
These things are not replacements, they are new opportunities to grow.
Prayer: Lord, help us to find the rhythm of loss and addition that keeps us healthy, Amen
Reflections of a Counselor 