You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. James 3:18 (Living Bible)
One of the roles of a counselor is to help clients refute the irrational beliefs that anxiety constantly brings into their mind. I recently had a client who suffers from social anxiety who had the belief that she was not interesting enough for other people. This was one of the lies of anxiety- “you are not worthy”.
We looked into some of her past and saw that she had become adept at trying to determine emotional safety by trying to figure out what might please or displease others. She had become risk aversive, and the irrational thought that supported this was that she should avoid others because they would find her uninteresting. In short, she felt that she might get rejected.
As we work through this, she is beginning to see herself as a person of worth and value. Further, it was not her responsibility to ensure that the other person would approve of her. It is her job to be truthful and caring, not to make herself “interesting” to others. Indeed, I told her “When you show interest in others, they find you interesting!” This client has high empathy for others, and I know that if she takes the risk of reaching out to engage others, they will find her interest in them, “interesting”.
It is so rewarding to be able to give people the assurance that they may not have had in the past. I ended by asking the client to consider that she was well worth knowing, and that people needed to see her gift of empathy in action. To her credit, she agreed to try to engage one person next week to get to know them.
She is going to do just fine in that homework.
Prayer: Lord, you have made us in your image, and worthy of respect and care, Amen
Reflections of a Counselor 