Trauma Responses

His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said. But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them                                                                                 Genesis 50:18-21

I spoke recently with a client who had experienced early trauma in his life. He had, as a child, a life-threatening illness that limited his opportunities to participate in many activities with his peer group. His very life was often threatened by it. He eventually developed some coping skills that allowed him to become an overcomer. I explained to my client that there are different responses to trauma in terms of outcomes later in life.

Getting adequate support and therapy is key in dealing with any traumatic event, and not all traumas are created equal, of course. However, these are the general categories I have seen in trauma response.

First, there are those who get stuck in the “victim” role. These people tend to blame their problems on circumstances or other people. They may fail to flourish in life, and they have a ready-made explanation of their failures. They become victims because they see themselves as victims. They tend to live a life that is defined by their trauma.  

Then there are the “survivors”. They have managed to live a life that is successful despite early trauma. While their life is not fully defined by the trauma, they have been limited somewhat by the events of earlier life. They may have lowered their own expectations of what they may have achieved in life, and they never quite get to the place that they had hoped in life.  

Finally, there are the “overcomers”. These people are not defined by their trauma, and in fact, they may use their own experiences to help others in life who have had similar difficulties. They have overcome stigma, physical impairments, and their own sense of self-limitation. They have overcome to the point that they have utilized the trauma to make their life better than it might have been had they never experienced the traumatic past.  

Trauma changes people in every way possible. The question is, how can we use that trauma in ways that help ourself as well as those around us?

Will we be victims, survivors, or overcomers?

Prayer: Lord, help us use our life experiences to shape our best intended destiny, Amen