Deciding to Forgive

Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:13 (Living Bible)

I recently met with a couple who have had some struggles in their marriage. Some of those hurts went far back into their lengthy marriage, and there is still some hurt evident, though healing is happening very nicely at this point. We discussed the value of intentional forgiveness- that is, making a decision to forgive, even when there is no feeling of forgiveness. In other words, there is a decision and a desire to forgive, but hurt feelings, sadness, and fear of further hurts still linger.

I suggested that when we decide to forgive a party who offends us, we have made the first and most important step- we have taken a step of obedience that God requires of us. When we meet God at this place of obedience, he then can take over and change our hearts and feelings. That is work that God can do if we let him. Choosing to forgive, which is an action after God’s own heart, is the step that frees God to act in our life.

Just because we do not feel like making a decision to forgive is understandable. Deciding to forgive because God tells us to forgive is the first step in relational healing.

Prayer: Lord, help us to follow your plan of forgiving others, Amen