Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will remain upon it. Proverbs 22:6
I had a discussion recently with a man who struggles with becoming overly restrictive and punitive to his children when they misbehave. Every parent, at some time or another, questions themselves in this area. We ask, “Am I reacting too quickly or harshly when my child breaks the rules?” “Should I pick my battles better on when to come down hard?” We question when to show mercy, or simply when to ignore certain s behaviors.
These are good questions that good parents ponder. As I spoke with this parent, I reminded him of the key question- “For whose benefit is this?” In other words, is my decision based upon my need for “justice” or compliance? Or is my decision based upon what is the best way to teach my child right from wrong, responsibility versus comfort, better ability to recognize the rights of others, etc.
It is a complex kind of algorithm, guided by many factors. When we consider the key question, “for whose benefit is this decision?”, things can become a little clearer. It is never easy to figure some of this stuff out, but when we know that we are working on behalf of our children’s best interest, it can give us more peace and clarity.
Prayer: Lord, you have given us the gift and privilege of rearing children. Continue to give us the wisdom to guide them well, Amen
Reflections of a Counselor 