Listening

To answer before listening—
    that is folly and shame.                                                                                           Proverbs 18:13

Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. David Augsburger

I recently spoke with a client about listening to his wife. He admitted that he has a tendency to offer advice and solutions before really hearing her out because he is convinced that he can offer better solutions to her, and that they will, more often than not, be effective.

While this may even be true, she feels diminished and marginalized in such situations. To his credit, he sees this and wants to change. In fact, he went to s seminar where the instructor told the audience, just say to yourself, “Shut up, shut up, shut up” when in such a situation.

I suggested that he substitute the words, “Listen, listen, listen”. In order to truly listen, one must exercise certain virtues such as sacrifice, humility and patience.  Those virtues do not come naturally to us, and we must be self-aware at the time to slow down and listen rather than respond.  

Prayer: Lord, give us patience to hear before answering a matter, Amen