Teachable Spirit

 If you refuse criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept criticism, you are on the road to fame.            Proverbs 13:18 (Living Bible)

I was talking to clients in marriage counseling the other day, and I observed the interactions between them. Sometimes, our behaviors become so ingrained that they become invisible to us. In this particular case, the husband was talking to his wife about an issue where he wanted her to be involved in a venture with him. He felt that it was important, from a professional standpoint, that she join him in this venture.

As I reflected back on their interactions, I noted that her response was very hesitant and even a bit tearful. His tone in discussing her willingness to join him in this venture seemed like more of a command and an expectation. She felt like she didn’t have much of a choice in her answer.

I pointed this out to the husband, and he at first was a bit defensive, but then quickly understood my observation. He had essentially given her a command, not an invitation. Once he went back and explained what he really wanted, and why he wanted her involved in the venture, she was grateful, relieved and affirmed. The husband, is a really good guy- insightful, caring, thoughtful- but he needed an observation from outside that he had come across in a way that was not respectful to his wife. This kind of thing is not unusual. All of us fall into certain behaviors and patterns that can become invisible to us over time.

Sometimes the nuance of how we approach others for what we want is misinterpreted. Sometimes, our tone or language is perceived in ways we did not intend. Such things happen often.

In this situation, this husband’s willingness to see other ways that were better methods to communicate really carried the day. I really appreciated his humility and grace in receiving coaching, and I told him that.

Indeed, humility is the beginning of wisdom.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to keep a humble and teachable spirit, Amen