Motives

People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.                                          Proverbs 16:2 (New Living Translation)

I spoke with a client several days ago who was upset over what he felt was disrespect from his parents. They still treated him like he was a child at times, although he is in his twenties and has a child of his own. He has a generous spirit and he is interested in viewpoints different from his own, but the seemingly meddlesome approach by his parents is hurtful to him.

As we talked, I offered the possibility that this was a behavior that might be somewhat invisible to his parents. Perhaps their motives are good, and they sincerely want the best for him. Yes, their input feels patronizing at times, and he feels disrespected. This is understandable. However, if he could see things from their perspective- if he could believe that their motives were good- he might feel less offended.

He took this concept very well. He is a bright and thoughtful young man. He allowed that he needs to consider this more, and that it might help him to overcome some bitterness that he is building.

When we are hurt or offended, it is hard to put ourselves into another’s shoes. When we consider that perhaps their motives are sincere, however poorly they are conveyed by behavior, we might be able to see the situation with more grace.   

Prayer: Lord, help us to look for the things that are not readily apparent to us, Amen