All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn’t, and doesn’t, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that’s the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life—a life that goes on and on and on, world without end. Romans 5:20-21 (The Message)
I recently met with a client who deals with the shame of addictions. In fact, he has carried this shame with him like a dark cloak for many years. It is sad for so many reasons, not the least of which is that he experienced trauma from about age eight from a father who was a sexual predator.
The client is an overcomer who has worked very hard at dealing with addictions, but periodic relapses ignite his shame to new levels. Because of this shame, he feels inadequate to be a spiritual leader in his home.
We talked about this, and I reminded him that if one must be blameless to be a leader, there would be no one to lead. Every one of us can name a broken life area that could “disqualify” us for leadership if we let it. Every great leader in history had (has) some dark parts in their life that could hold them back, if they allowed that to happen.
I think we all understand how this client feels. Yet, we cannot let feelings of shame get in the way of doing the things we can, indeed must, do. I reminded him of the mantra- “do, then feel”. When we go ahead and do the things we need to do, we begin to feel better. We cannot wait to feel better about ourselves before we take on those duties.
This client is a good man, an overcomer, a fine husband and father, but his shame pulls him back and restrains him. I pray that he can see himself the way that God sees him- forgiven and important to those around him.
I pray that for all of us.
Prayer: Lord, help us see the power of your immense forgiveness, Amen
Reflections of a Counselor 