Restoration

I am writing to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name       I John 2:12

Trust must be earned. In marriage, trust typically grows over the years as spouses learn that their partner is the one they can fully count on, no matter what, to have their best interest at stake. That is a fundamental basis of a healthy relationship.

Yet, when that trust is broken, it takes a long time to rebuild it. It takes lots of work, patience tears and honesty to rebuild broken trust, but it CAN be done. I have a fairly large number of marriages where that trust has been broken by an affair. It takes a great deal of courage to enter that rebuilding process- and it is a process.

The good news is that with proper accountability, time, patience and perseverance, that trust can slowly rebuild. I have had two recent marriages where that rebuilding process is now nearly complete. It is an ongoing process to be sure, but one of the milestone events is when the partner who was offended decides to trust the partner who cheated.

This is not easy by any means, but when that offended partner gets to the place of being able to say, “I have decided to trust you again”, the miracle is almost complete. Grace and forgiveness are always a necessary part of the formula. The one who committed the affair will always carry some level of shame, but the forgiveness of the offended one is the key to healing- for both.

So, my friends, this is a hard subject, not to be taken lightly. True healing takes time and hard work by both the offending and offended party. But the end result of a restored relationship is truly a mark of grace at work.  

Prayer: Lord, you are the healer who gives grace to the wounded, Amen.