A Humble Heart

When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
    but with humility comes wisdom                                                                         Proverbs 11:2

I was speaking with a client the other day, and we were exploring the ways that he relates to his wife. He is, by nature, a problem solver, and he approaches many situations with his wife from the perspective of giving her solutions to problems, or suggesting things she could or should do to help her situation. He ends up coming across as controlling, or a “know-it-all”, and his wife then often just “shuts down”.

The more we discussed the dynamic, I suggested that he take an empathic approach to her current depression, which leaves her with little energy, and often a messy environment around her. I suggested that he consider saying things like, “I know that you must be really suffering with this depression. What can I do to help”?

This allows his wife to feel better understood, not judged for her depressive lethargy, and it empowers her to try to solve her own problems with his help. Currently, she feels disrespected, judged, and unheard.

The client had a bit of an “Aha!” experience. He saw that his current approach could come across as uncaring and harsh. He is a willing learner, and he agreed that he needed help to make some changes in his approach to his wife.

Humility is the beginning of wisdom. His willingness to see that he had unknowingly hurt his wife touched him, and that gave him the resolve to try to change. This young man loves his wife, and he plans to work on changing his attitude and approach. What a joy to see a humble heart look to make positive changes!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for humble, willing hearts, Amen