Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy                                Proverbs 14:10

I think sometimes we have a tendency to compare the relative pain that certain events cause to other people. You know, someone shares how hard it is for them that they had what we may feel is a minor setback, but to them, it feels like a catastrophe. We may think, “Wow, that is not a big enough deal to cause such a reaction.”

Yet, we don’t know the context of that suffering. Our view of the relative importance of that situation does not really matter. Each of us has hurts, and joys, that cannot be experienced by another. Our own internal reactions can be triggered in ways unknown to others.

It is our job to understand that the reactions of others are their reactions, and it is not our job to judge them. People see the world very differently based upon many, many factors. If we can accept that each person has a right to feel how they feel, and that we don’t get to judge it, we all may accept one another a little better.

Prayer: Lord, give us the wisdom to accept the views and thoughts of others without harsh judgment, Amen

The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed;
    those who help others are helped                                                      Proverbs 11:25

Did you know that over 30% of the American population is involved in some type of volunteer activity? That feels like a pretty hefty number, and I’m glad of it. Perhaps the number should be even higher.

Volunteering is good for the body, mind and soul. I typically ask my clients to consider, as they are able, some type of volunteer activity in order to enhance their sense of self, and to positively impact the lives of others.   

Indeed, I remember when I was a young counselor and I had a client who was in her mid-sixties, and she complained of depression. I suggested that she seek volunteer work (among other suggestions to deal with grief and depression) to become more socially active, and to find a way to “reinvent herself” after her husband had passed away.

She began to volunteer at the same hospital where the mental health center had its offices. When I left that agency 15 year later, she came to me and thanked me for the suggestion I had given to her so many years before. She was then about 80 years old, still volunteering twice a week at the hospital, and she told me that she had indeed found more purpose, and more energy in her life. She was more focused on the needs of others, and the work fit into her spiritual beliefs about helping other people.

I have, over the years routinely suggested volunteer work to my clients for its many social, spiritual, emotional, and even physical benefits. For those of my readers who regularly volunteer (and there are many who do), thank you for your service.

So, I say to my readers, if you are not in a regular system of volunteering at a church, social services agency, or any of the other myriad options, do it.

You will be glad that you did.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the way that you bless us as we help others, Amen

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.                                            John 15:13

Or so they say. I treat a lot of clients who suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Briefly, the most common understanding of this disorder is that people who have been exposed to significant traumatic events are prone to be affected in a negative way, and we have diagnosed this as PTSD.

Earlier this century, this phenomenon was identified in soldiers who fought in World War I. The phenomenon became known as “shell shock”. There was good reason for that since high explosive shells were used extensively in that war, not only for their destructive power, but for their intimidation effect. The constant and deafening roar of the explosions caused soldiers to literally become psychotic. Many never really returned to reality. Their system had been completely overwhelmed.

When World War II came around, the term then became “combat fatigue”. Constant exposure to violence, and threat of violence, as well as the experience of seeing people die all around one caused the reaction.

When the Vietnam War came in the 60’s and 70’s, a new term appeared- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Since then, we have come to understand that the definition of PTSD has been expanded to not only those who are victims of violence and threat, but those who are witness to such devastations.

Front-line first responders are, by definition, potentially diagnosable with PTSD.  Even though most first responders would shrug off the label, they nonetheless are affected by those traumatic events which they encounter.

We expect that those servants will continue to serve others despite the trauma they witness. So do they. Those first-responders will say “It’s part of the job, we just keep on”. And they do. But it comes with a price.

So, to our first responders (including my beloved two children who are in the very center of trauma every day), I say thank you. There cannot be love without sacrifice, and they show their love through sacrifice every day.  

Prayer: Lord, protect those who protect us every day, Amen

We can justify our every deed, but God looks at our motives.                                Proverbs 21:2

One of the concepts I often discuss with clients is the concept “unable or unwilling?” Especially in relationship problems, this question needs to be asked- “Is your partner unable or unwilling to make the changes you would like?” If they feel that the partner is unwilling to make some changes for the sake of the relationship, that is a whole other dynamic than if that partner is unable to make those changes. Are we asking someone to do something that they are simply not capable of doing, or are they simply being selfish and stubborn?

Just the idea of giving consideration to motives, and the past experiences and abilities of the partner helps to give some empathic approach to the situation.  Perhaps the partner in the relationship is doing about the best they can, but lack the skills and temperament to be the “ideal partner” one had hoped for.

The idea is to ask the client to consider that, maybe their partner is trying hard, but she/he is not capable of the type of responses one would like. Perhaps we will never know what those limits are, bit it is always good to ask for the client to consider giving the benefit of the doubt.

Prayer: Lord, give us the patience and wisdom to ask the questions about ability to change versus stubborn resistance. Amen

But the exact day and hour? No one knows that, not even heaven’s angels, not even the Son. Only the Father knows.

 “The Arrival of the Son of Man will take place in times like Noah’s. Before the great flood everyone was carrying on as usual, having a good time right up to the day Noah boarded the ark. They knew nothing—until the flood hit and swept everything away.

 “The Son of Man’s Arrival will be like that: Two men will be working in the field—one will be taken, one left behind; two women will be grinding at the mill—one will be taken, one left behind. So stay awake, alert. You have no idea what day your Master will show up. But you do know this: You know that if the homeowner had known what time of night the burglar would arrive, he would have been there with his dogs to prevent the break-in. Be vigilant just like that. You have no idea when the Son of Man is going to show up.                                                                                                                                         Matthew 24:36-44 (The Message)

There has always been speculation in the Christian community about the “second coming”, when Jesus will return to earth, and prophecies will be fulfilled. There are many people who speculate on when those “end times” will be, and they point to events that certainly indicate (they believe) that the end times are near. Of course, through the centuries, there have been many events that people could point to as “inevitable signs” of the imminent fulfillment of those prophecies.

Interestingly, Jesus did not seem to put much focus on that event. He said that no one knew, except the Father, when those end times would come. He typically told people, and gave stories about, “occupying well” until that end time comes.

I find it a bit disturbing that people are so intent on looking for that great “end time” event when Jesus will come again. Didn’t Jesus essentially say, “Don’t worry about an event that you cannot know, keep serving and loving people right now where you are”. In the prayer he taught his disciples, Jesus instructed us by saying “thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven”.

I understand that to mean that we are to not simply wait until the earth is fulfilled (or destroyed, based upon your interpretation), but we are to work to bring “heaven to earth”. That is, we are to endeavor, through our transformed lives and relationships, to demonstrate what that future Kingdom can look like here on earth.

We will never be able to make the earth “heaven”. We are all quite clear on that! But didn’t Jesus challenge us to try, in our own little way, to make the earth a little better place for those we share the planet with?

So, rather than spending time waiting and speculating on an event whose time we will never know, isn’t it better to ask, “How can I make this present time better for those around me?”

Prayer: Lord, you have given us opportunities to bring Kingdom principles to earth. Help us to focus on what is right before us, Amen