Point your kids in the right direction—
when they’re old they won’t be lost. Proverbs 22:6 (The Message)
There are many complicated parts to the relationship of parent and child. Almost everyone can identify some way that one (or both, perhaps) of their parents made a mistake(s) in raising them. This is true- because it is! Parents are human and we are imperfect.
Every one of us who is a parent can identify things we could have done for (or with) our kids when they were young. There are things that we could have said or not said, different decisions that we could have made with them, etc., etc. That being said, the vast majority of parents wanted to do the right thing by their kids. Their motives were good even if follow through was not perfect.
I often end up speaking to my clients (all of whom at this point are adults), about their need to have the approval of their parents. No matter the age of the client, or their parent, there is a part of them that wants approval from their parents. I suspect that there is good reason for this. When we are young, children are completely dependent upon their parents for survival. From just an evolutionary concept, it certainly behooves kids to please those who hold their life in their hands!
Beyond that, there is a bond that develops that encourages a nurturing relationship between parent and child. That need to please our parents changes over time, but the concept remains true. We want mom and dad to approve of us- to be proud of us.
I also talk with clients about the fact that parents almost universally did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time they were raising their kids. They did not intentionally set out to mess up their kids!
So much to be said about the complicated world of parenting!
More on this tomorrow my friends…
Prayer: Lord, we can better understand your love for us as we love our children…
Reflections of a Counselor 